This past Sunday, the New York Mets re-signed closer Edwin Díaz to a five-year, $102 million deal — the largest reliever contract in MLB history. For reference, the previous all-time high in terms of average annual value was $18 million given to the White Sox’s Liam Hendriks prior to 2021. The previous record for the largest total contract for a reliever was set just this past offseason when the Angels signed Raisel Iglesias to a four-year, $58 million contract.

Essentially, Díaz just tore a hole through the fabric of the reliever market.

Does he deserve a record-breaking contract? Sure. After all, two of his last three seasons have seen him post an ERA-plus over 200, and he increased his strikeout-per-nine rate from 12.8 in 2021 to 17.1 in 2022. He’s also only 28 years old (will be 29 at the start of next season). Does he deserve this insane of a record-breaking contract? That’s arguable. There’s no denying the presence of an elite closer is extremely valuable in today’s MLB. Don’t believe me? Ask any Dodgers fan how they feel about that question.

Debate that topic all you want. “Is there any reality where a closer is worth more than $20 million a year?” That’s the question everyone is pondering. The question I’d like to bring up is “Who cares how much he’s getting paid? Does it really matter?”

Steve Cohen has recently hinted that he plans on spending $300 million in 2023. That would be almost $23 million more than the Dodgers spent on their Opening Day roster. It would also be nearly $50 million more than the Mets were spending on their Opening Day roster. Basically, he plans on spending a lot.

If there’s one thing we’ve learned over the last few years of baseball, it’s that the luxury tax doesn’t deter owners from spending. And with several players clamoring for the luxury tax threshold to be lifted even higher, there’s even more incentive for owners to spend away. It’s clear that Cohen doesn’t care about spending as long as he either likes what he’s getting, or believes he’ll get his money back.

The former doesn’t really come into effect for MLB free agency. However, the fact that Cohen once bought a statue for $141.3 million for a bronze sculpture presumably because he wanted it, shows that money is no issue. If he wants to see his Mets win, he’ll pull out all the stops. If he wants to spend more than $300 million because he wants a great player on his roster, he’ll do it.

Modern MLB has shown us two proven ways to consistently win games. You’re either a low-market team with a fantastic scouting and data department that builds your farm system steadily to the point where you eventually have a two-or-three-year window to win a title — like the Rays or Guardians — or you spend a ton of money to acquire all the best players and keep your window open forever. You can also mix the two like the Dodgers and Astros have, which is what the Dodgers have done and why they can afford to pay David Price, Trevor Bauer, Dustin May, Cody Bellinger, Justin Turner, Max Muncy, and Craig Kimbrel oodles of cash while they either perform at the lowest levels of their careers or not at all.

The Mets have a decent farm system, usually ranking around the middle of the pack. However, that’s not enough to guarantee success. The Mets need to spend, and spend big.

With a net worth of over $17 billion, Cohen (pretty much) doesn’t care how much money he spends this offseason. $300 million is an absurd figure never before seen in MLB. With that mentality, it’s hard to assume anyone is getting overpaid on the Mets roster. In fact, overspending when you don’t care about money might actually be a good strategy because it sets a new standard for players of similar skill levels at the same position. You think Kenley Jansen won’t use this number as a measuring stick for his upcoming free agency? Absolutely he will. He won’t earn as much as Díaz. That’s out of the question, but the standard has risen and thus, all teams will have to spend more on relievers moving forward, and most other teams don’t want to spend more than they have to.

Díaz is an incredible reliever who provides an incredible fan experience. As long as the Mets have him, their bullpen should remain one of the best in the league. Yes, they’re giving him a lot of money, maybe too much, but I’m sure Cohen would tell you that having that role locked down and giving the fans five more years of Diaz is absolutely priceless. Cue the trumpets!

It’s still hard to believe that for a team with the history of The Netherlands — three-time World Cup finalist, Euro ‘88 champion — that their recent history doesn’t even include qualification as an automatic. They missed the last World Cup, and 2016’s Euros. The latter was the first European Championships to be expanded to 24 teams, so missing it took some real doing. This was a team that just forgot to develop a generation of players after their 2010 Final appearance against Spain. And while they were able to waddle their way torturously to a semifinal in Brazil, the lack of a next generation to take over from that one meant that they missed out on two major tournaments.

Whether they have the blend right now is still kind of questionable, and going back to the future in having Louis van Gaal as manager probably means we’ll get more of the turgid stuff we got after their upset of Spain in the group stage in Brazil, but needing maybe the most ridiculous Arjen Robben dive (which is saying something) to get past Mexico and a penalty shootout to get past Costa Damn Rica. That penalty shootout included van Gaal subbing his keeper at the end of extra time so that Tim Krul could face the penalties. Which worked, and resulted in van Gaal being up his own ass even more than he already was (which is also saying something).

The Dutch returned to the big time in last year’s Euros, where they looked dynamite playing at home in the group stage, tuning up Ukraine, North Macedonia, and Austria to the combined score of 8-2. But then it was the Czechs in the Round of 16, they completely shat themselves, and were out.

And the problem in that game still looks to be a problem in the upcoming ones. Memphis Depay looked very worthy of signing for Barcelona in the summer of 2021 during that group stage in Amsterdam, scoring two goals and adding two assists. And then he went missing with everyone else when it really mattered, managing just one off-target shot against Czechia. And this Dutch squad hasn’t really moved on from him as one of the strikers in van Gaal’s 3-4-1-2.

Depay is still pretty much a nailed-on starter, and they rotate Vincent Janssen or Steven Bergwijn around him, neither of whom can be counted on for much more than being present. When the chips are down, the Dutch will still look to Depay to be a force, something he’s proven he can’t do against quality competition.

The Dutch’s other source of goals from midfield won’t be around either this time, as Gini Wijnaldum broke his leg for Roma and is out for the tournament. They’ll hope that torch will be taken up by PSV’s Cody Gakpo, who has piled up nine goals and 12 assists in just 13 matches so far in the Eredivisie and very well may be the next big Dutch thing. But as Jozy Altidore proved once and Ricardo Pepi may be proving now, any jackass can pile up numbers in the Dutch league. He’ll probably play just behind the two forwards, and the Dutch will need him to make up for the noise that Depay won’t make in the knockout rounds.

It’s a shame, because the rest of this Dutch squad might be primed for big things. Yeah, Virgil van Dijk has been borderline-woeful for Liverpool at times this season, but this is his first major tourney with the Dutch and, if anything will snap him into his previous imperious form, it’s this. He’s usually flanked by Nathan Ake and Jurrien Timber. Frenkie De Jong anchors the midfield, and there’s an enviable selection of players to partner him in the center be it Davy Klaassen, or Steven Berghuis, or Teun Koopmeiners. Denzel Dumfries, though not a complete regular for Inter, can provide a threat down the right. Daley Blind had tennis balls on his boots but isn’t going to let anyone down on the other side.

But it still feels like it’ll all fall flat at the sharp end. They could easily see England in the Round of 16, who are a lot of things they shouldn’t be, but they can be miserly and not the kind of defense Depay has shown the knack for breaking through. Or they could see a heavily defensive Wales or even Iran. Argentina and France could be waiting in the quarters should they get that far.

And it’s no guarantee in the group, because Group A also has Senegal, Africa’s best team. It was a banner year already for The Lions, as they won AFCON to kick it off and then kneecapped Egypt for a second time on penalties to qualify for this tournament. However, neither was a vintage performance, as they didn’t look all that threatening in any of them and managed one goal from open play in 270 minutes. Their latest round of friendlies saw them draw once again with a Carlos Quieroz-led side, this time Iran.

And this team doesn’t lack offensive talent. Sadio Mane usually leads the line or plays on the left of the front three, opposite Ismail Sarr who’s been on the verge of a big-money move from Watford for what seems like 10 years now. They’re usually accompanied by Boulaye Dia, who is scoring on half his shots for Salernitana in Serie A at the moment. But manager Aliou Cissé likes to keep it close to the vest, and basically counts on his three forwards to conjure something while the rest of the team is focused on turning the field into a trench.

Ecuador has become something of a production line for young talent these days, a lot of which you’ll see in MLS. Or on Brighton in the Premier League, as they boast three of their players, though probably not for long, as Moise Caicedo looks destined for a move to a bigger club for a dumpster full of £100 notes. Ecuador will bring the youngest team out of South America for this, and are kind of the opposite of Senegal in that they like to party (meaning goals, not that). They put four on Uruguay and six on Colombia during qualifying, and were only held scoreless three times in COMNEBOL’s marathon qualifying schedule — and two of those were away to Argentina and Brazil, both of whom they drew at home. Their recent form is a little wonky, as they threw up back-to-back 0-0 draws in friendlies with Japan and Saudi Arabia (better than the USMNT), but those were obviously friendlies. They’ll throw in a fright to one of the Dutch or Senegal at the very least.

Qatar has two advantages that they will hope will make up for the massive talent deficiency. One, they’re at home. Two, while teams will be throwing themselves together the week before the tournament and just hoping for cohesion, this one has been playing together for a while. They were guests in both the 2021 Gold Cup where they looked like a pretty tasty counterattacking side at times, and the 2019 Copa America. They were supposed to play in the 2021 Copa America as well, but before that got a whole lot of silly with scheduling and placement. They’ll have more chemistry than most, and will probably take a point off one of the other three.

Manager most likely to be red-carded: van Gaal is way too focused on making sure everyone can see him holding a binder, so we’ll go with Qatar’s Felix Sanchez. Never trust the bald guy with a beard.

Schedule:

Nov. 20 – Ecuador v. Qatar (11 a.m. EST)

Nov. 21 – Netherlands vs. Senegal (11 a.m. EST)

Nov. 25 – Senegal vs. Qatar (8 a.m. EST), Netherlands v. Ecuador (11 a.m. EST)

Nov. 29 – Ecuador vs. Senegal, Netherlands vs. Qatar (10 a.m. EST)

Sen. Ted Cruz popped his head out of its dwelling, and as with most moles, some bystander tried whacking it with a mallet. During the Houston Astros World Series parade, Cruz thought it would be a good idea to give drunk people a moving target and hopped on the back of a Hummer to once again bask in the glory of other people’s success.

Then someone threw a couple of cans of Truly at him.

The alleged beverage thrower was pointed out by a member of Cruz’s detail and the man was subsequently arrested by Houston police. Joseph Halm Arcidiacono, 33, was charged with aggravated assault and his bail was set at $40,000.

In the video, Cruz raises a forearm to try to stave off the wayward White Claw but it ends up hitting him in the chest and neck area anyway. He didn’t require medical attention, and later tweeted that thankfully the guy had a “noodle for an arm.”

That’s fucking hysterical, Ted, now go to the next rally so your own party can hurl drinks and insults at you. Is there a dunk tank, or does Blofeld just shock you in your chair at random?

The question I have for Arcidiacono is, was it worth it? Your friends are going to give you shit any time you pick up a malt beverage from now until eternity.

“Watch out, guys, Joe’s has a few High Noons in him, that look in his eyes, and a roadie in his back pocket.”

If I were his attorney, I’d give the Patrick Mahomes excuse and say he wasn’t throwing 12 ounces of malt liquor at the senator as much as he was offering him something tasty to chug and maybe go viral. It’s not like he broke into his home and allegedly assaulted his spouse with a hammer. 

Anywho, happy Election Day. Go vote.

During the Colts’ Monday press conference announcing former All-Pro center Jeff Saturday as their interim head coach, GM Chris Ballard expressed dissatisfaction with several parts of the team, particularly the offensive line.

The first half of that statement is what I want to look at.

“Y’all have been kicking the shit out of me for years for not drafting wideouts and all of a sudden now, I look up and we’re underperforming on the offensive line.” That’s what Ballard said.

Anyone who can put two and two together probably realizes what Ballard is saying. The Colts, and particularly Ballard, were ridiculed for years for not taking wide receivers. They’ve been thin in that department ever since T.Y. Hilton missed nearly half of the 2019 season and never recovered. So, after much outcry from the public, the Colts used their first selection of the 2022 draft to take Cincinnati receiver Alec Pierce. The Colts could’ve taken Abraham Lucas (I know they need more help at left tackle than right, but if they wanted to bolster their offensive line so badly, he would’ve been a good piece) or Nicholas Petit-Frere (same situation) but instead they drafted Pierce. Now that the Colts’ offensive line is underperforming, Ballard wishes he could take back that selection.

While Ballard isn’t upset with how Pierce is playing, he believes that if he drafted an offensive lineman instead of Pierce, the team would be better off than it currently is. That might be true, but it wouldn’t solve the issues plaguing this team. Nobody in the 2022 draft would’ve saved this team from the treadmill of mediocrity they’re currently riding. Why? Because 2022 is an amalgamation of several problems that had been piling up since the end of the 2020 season, all thanks to Mr. Ballard.

Let’s talk about that offensive line. The left tackle position has been in shambles ever since 10-year vet Anthony Castonzo retired following an injury-marred 2020 campaign. Did the Colts draft a tackle to replace him? No. They passed on elite prospect Christian Darrisaw and took Kwity Paye. At this point, the only left tackle on the Colts’ roster was Julie’n Davenport, who was, and still is, regarded as one of the worst tackles in the NFL. Paye, meanwhile, was meant to replace Denico Autry, who walked in free agency earlier in the offseason. Why did he walk? Because the Colts low-balled him. He even threw shade at the Colts for not giving him what he was worth after signing with division rival, Tennessee.

Paye has been a fine player, but if the Colts had manned up and given Autry what he deserved, they would’ve been able to draft Darrisaw. Also, Autry wouldn’t be decimating their battered offensive line twice a year like he is now. That’s fine though. The Colts got their left tackle replacement in free agency, signing former Kansas City Chief No. 1 overall pick Eric Fisher to a one-year deal. That sounds good, right? Well, Fisher was just coming off an ACL injury, hence why he couldn’t play in the Super Bowl against Tampa Bay. Essentially, the Colts failed to pay one of their better pass rushers, tried to replace him in the draft, thus neglecting their offensive line, and tried to fix the offensive line with a 30-year-old fresh off an ACL tear, while their backup was one of the worst tackles in the league. That checks out.

Fisher wasn’t a bad run blocker last year. However, in pass protection, you could tell that he wasn’t what he used to be. He’d lost a step, and surrendered seven sacks and 11 quarterback hits, both tied for the most of his career since 2014. His pressure rate had increased over three percent from 2020 (8.37 percent in 2021; 4.84 percent in 2020) and it was clear he wasn’t their long-term solution. Lo and behold, he’s not on the team in 2022.

Meanwhile, Darrisaw is killing it as the left tackle in Minnesota. Through eight games, he’s allowing a little more than one pressure per game. He’s currently got an 84.6 pass blocking grade from PFF. That’s absurd. The Colts could have had him, but the decision to let Autry walk clouded their judgment. They had to find a replacement pass-rusher ASAP. So, if anyone was neglecting the offensive line in Indy, it was Ballard prior to the 2021 offseason.

Now Ballard wants to sit on his high horse and say “Neener, neener! I told you all! I didn’t want to draft a wide receiver, but you all forced my hand!” Sure, maybe the team would be better off with a rookie tackle instead of Alec Pierce, but let’s not pretend that the moves that led to this point were all perpetrated by Ballard as well.

The pure awfulness of these moves only get amplified when you realize that the Colts neglected their left tackle position just before trading for Carson Wentz. Wentz is one of the worst quarterbacks in the league under pressure. You’d think obtaining a young, highly-touted left tackle would fall a little higher on the Colts’ to-do list with that decision.

Furthermore, it’s not like Ballard was forced into drafting numerous wideouts. He drafted one…singular…in this most recent draft. One wide receiver, but that’s the decision that ruined everything? Man, what kind of backwards statement was Ballard trying to make?

Clearly, Ballard is just upset by the consequences of his own actions. Thankfully, by playing just a little game of cause-and-effect, we can see right through his facade. The Colts are a bad team, not because he drafted Alec Pierce, but because he made numerous terrible personnel decisions following the 2020 season. That’s the bottom line.

Golden State’s 4-7 record has been jarring to witness. A five-game road losing streak during a road trip that rolled through Charlotte (3-8), Detroit (3-8), Miami (4-7), Orlando (2-9), and New Orleans (5-5) had the alarms blaring. Despite the final result, the Warriors 116-113 win over the Sacramento Kings on Monday night was clarifying. In the victory, Steph Curry delivered another MVP-caliber performance, scoring 47 points on 17-of-24 shooting in 36 minutes. Draymond Green even achieved double digits scoring. Wiggins dropped 25 and drained 4-of-8 triples. Klay Thompson logged a quiet 16 points and Kevon Looney snatched 16 boards and chipped in four assists.

While all five starters named above had their way with Sac-Town, their bench earned demerits for their combined 69 minutes of playing time, posting a negative-58 plus-minus. Curry and the Warriors starting lineup’s +73 plus-minus ultimately kept their heads above water, their bench against Sac-Town was 2/5 two-way contracts and 3/5 rookie contract contributors. It’s a continuation of a worrying trend. Whenever the NBA’s best five-man starting lineup (in terms of scoring differential) steps off the floor, Golden State unravels.

The Warriors’ organic chemistry has always been difficult to explain. Their ball-whipping motion offense, and quick off-ball movements are predicated on an innate synergy than on individual gifts. Sure Steph Curry can hit the berserk button and absolutely decimate all-time great defenses, but that can only carry them so far in a seven-game series. The energy he and his starting compatriots expend, especially at his advanced age — ahem. He’s old enough to be a father figure to certain Warriors — requires more down time to recuperate. In 10 games, Curry is averaging 32.6 points, 7 assists, 7 rebounds, draining 50 percent of his field goals and 43 percent of his 3s. That pace is MVP-worthy, but probably unsustainable.

If Curry, Klay, and Draymond have been Golden State’s nervous system throughout this dynastic run, the bench has been their heartbeat. Their energy on the sidelines and synergy with the Warriors’ vaunted Death Lineup starters has kept the blood pumping through the veins of four championship teams, plus a pair of runner-ups. When Steph Curry hits his inevitable cold stretch, it’s the bench that keeps their other foot out of the grave. At least that used to be the case.

Their redemptive 2022 championship bench was spearheaded by Otto Porter Jr., Damion Lee, Gary Payton II, Nemanja Bjelica, and Juan Toscano-Anderson. Every single member of that second five-man lineup is gone. Steve Kerr’s Warriors 3.0 expected to hit the ground running with their precocious youngsters picking up the slack. Instead, their new-look second-unit has gotten thrashed.

The last time Golden State experienced this type of turnover on their second-unit, it was immediately after the 2019 Finals loss against Toronto. Andre Iguodala was shipped to Memphis to clear room for the Kevin Durant-D’Angelo Russell sign-and-trade that turned into Andrew Wiggins. Shaun Livingston retired. Damian Jones, Quinn Cook, Andrew Bogut and Jonas Jerebko all moved on after the season while the Warriors retooled. They were given cover when Curry broke his wrist, Klay recovered from an achilles tear and ACL while Draymond load managed.

While that veteran-laden bench accumulated the second-highest plus-minus in the league last season, their 2023 bench has produced the worst plus-minus in the entire NBA and are the second-worst shooting bench lineup in the NBA. Presently, Golden State is being torn from within by the most absurd disparity in production between a bench and starting lineup in the entire league.

Here are how the benchmen for several of the NBA’s contenders rank this season:

TEAM/RANK (TOTAL PLUS/MINUS) 

• Boston Celtics: 4th(+42)
• Milwaukee Bucks: 5th(+20)
• Utah Jazz: 6th (+20)
• Phoenix Suns: 9th(+11)
• Golden State Warriors: 32nd(-87)

The only bench unit for a top-10 team that is exhibiting ineptitude even marginally close to Golden State’s is hipster-fave Denver’s 26th ranked bench and their negative-41 plus-minus. Kerr has vowed to make lineup changes, but his options are limited.

It’s almost unheard of for an NBA contender’s top-five minutes earners to be still on the NBA rookie pay scale. That includes Jordan Poole, whose extension doesn’t kick in until 2023. Behind his whopping 39 minutes per game, the Warrior bench is headlined by James Wiseman, Jonathan Kuminga, Moses Moody, and Ty Jerome. Further down the bench are Donte DiVincenzo and JaMychal Green, who spent the last two seasons in Denver.

The best case scenario is that their young understudies accelerate their maturation during the 82-game trial by fire. Growing pains are part of the process, but they’re magnified when one of the most accomplished starting lineups since the Auerbach Celtics is weighed down by the league’s worst second-unit.

Jonathan Kuminga’s inability to spread the floor has hindered the Warriors spacing, but his energy in the open floor has compelled Kerr to increase his minutes. On the other hand, James Wiseman may be playing himself out of the rotation and potentially out of Golden State completely if his listless effort continues. DiVincenzo has been on the mend with a strained hamstring since October 23, but is expected to return to the lineup Friday, which should provide more veteran leadership off the pine. JaMychal Green’s minutes should increase as the season wears on and as he gels into his small ball five role, but even he is .

Individually, those five sound like they should have it all figured out, but Golden State’s season depends on at least a few of their backups hitting their stride or else they may be forced to sacrifice their youth on the trade market pyre.

Former slam dunk champ Dwight Howard, aka Superman, entered the 2022 NBA season on the free agent list. Throughout training camps and three weeks into the season, nobody has come knocking at Howard’s door until now. And you’ll never guess what team is giving Howard a chance to continue his career — probably because you’ve never heard of them.

The three-time NBA Defensive Player of the Year’s basketball journey has taken him to Taiwan to play for the Taoyuan Leopards of Taiwan’s T1 League, Howard announced on Monday via Instagram.

“Taiwan, I’ve got some amazing news for you guys. Superman is in the building,” Howard exclaimed, barely able to contain his excitement.

“I have always loved the energy I felt visiting Taiwan as you can see, I still have posters hanging up on my walls from my first 2 times visiting! I’m ready to enjoy life by playing the sport I love in front of a bunch of people that Love me & for my people in Taiwan, have your posters ready to welcome yours truly,” said the 2020 NBA champion.

Professional sports are funny in how they sometimes work because they can be very similar to high school. If you’re not with the “in” crowd, you’re merely cast off and viewed as an outsider. For a large part of his career, that’s been, Howard. Look at his accolades and judge for yourself:

• Eight-time All-NBA
• Eight-time All-Star
• Five-time Rebound champion
• Three-time Defensive POY
• NBA Champion (2020)
• Slam Dunk Champion (2008)
• 2004-05 All-Rookie Team

But when it came time to announce the NBA’s 75th-anniversary team last year, Howard was nowhere to be found. If Anthony Davis made that list, Howard should’ve been a lock. Davis was a great player at one point, but his list of accomplishments can’t touch what Howard’s achieved in the Association. In fact, Howard and Davis got into a scuffle on the Lakers’ sideline last season right around the time of the 75th-anniversary team’s unveiling.

Howard talks about playing the sport he loves in front of people that love him. It’s never felt like the NBA truly loved him for whatever reason. He got roped into a nonsensical feud with NBA legend Shaquille O’Neal over a nickname neither owns rights to. Shaq was a great player but doesn’t own the moniker and, quite frankly, needs to get over himself. O’Neal loves to brag about earning multiple college degrees. Well, how about using some of that intellect to check yourself and RELAX?

With this latest revelation, it is amazing to see just how little the NBA thinks of Howard. Instead of a team signing Howard to come off the bench to play 15 minutes a night, he’s forced to go play overseas. Howard says he loves the people of Taiwan and their energy, but if given the opportunity, he probably would’ve jumped at playing for the veteran’s minimum in the NBA this year.

If Deandre Jordan still picks up a paycheck in the NBA, Howard should be in line to do the same. Jordan is playing 13 minutes a game in Denver, averaging six rebounds and half a blocked shot per game. Howard did the same thing for the Lakers last season in 16 minutes while averaging more points than Jordan.

In no phase of Deandre Jordan’s career has he ever been a better basketball player than Dwight Howard. Not while in the NBA. But like anything else in life, when you buddy up to the right people, you can get the benefit of the doubt over outsiders. When Kevin Durant got to Brooklyn, he had to have Jordan, and we saw how that worked out. Far past his prime, DJ continues to get calls while Howard is out of the league.

Sure, Howard wasn’t always the easiest to get along with — ask Stan Van Gundy. And his attitude rubbed some the wrong way — Kobe Bryant wasn’t a fan either — but for him to be shunned in this way is despicable. Howard even dealt with rumors about his sexuality which he put to rest a few years ago. Whether those rumors played a part in his treatment around the league over the years is uncertain, but the fact remains that Howard was one of the most outstanding big men of his era.

With Howard now committing to play in Taiwan, that takes him off the NBA radar for a while. But if he plays well enough in the T1 league, that could open the door for Howard to return and finish his NBA career on his terms. 

Everywhere except Houston, it’s time for teams and fans to try and get to where Houston is. Or it will be in January or February instead of November and December, like it used to be. Anyway, we run through what teams might need and what they might do, for most of them these things don’t line up, and today it’s the NL West’s turn.

Arizona Diamondbacks

Projected 2023 Payroll: $103 million

Notable Free Agents: It’s the Diamondbacks. Name three others than Baumgarner. You can’t.

Could they use Aaron Judge?: If only to get most baseball fans to remember they exist.

What they could use other than Aaron Judge: It doesn’t really matter to them, as this is a full youth movement. Though this movement is not without some merit and excitement. The outfield appears set between Corbin Carroll-Daulton Varsho-Jake McCarthy, with Varsho being a defensive whiz in center, and Carroll flashing some late-season power after his cameo.

The infield is another story, where only Ketel Marte is worth keeping around — and he’s 29 already. They could use an upgrade on the left side, and Christian Walker’s career revival last year at first base at the age of 31 shouldn’t be taken as a sign of things to come, at least not fully. He cut down his strikeouts and sold out for launch angle as he had previously in his career and also being uber-selective, cutting his swing rate by 12 percent. He also had this revival with some shit-ass BABIP luck, so he could be a candidate to be even better in 2023 as well as a deflation candidate. Walker has one more arb year after this one, and considering his age and numbers he might be a trade piece for a D-Backs team that’s still a couple of years away.

The rotation looks to be anchored by Zac Gallen, who had a 2.54 ERA last year, but also benefited from some wild BABIP luck (.237), though Arizona had the best defense in the league according to StatCast. The back end will be taken up by some kids in Ryne Nelson and Drey Jameson, and Brandon Pfaadt could arrive in the middle of the season. They’ll likely still trust the pair with the onion on their belt of Madison Baumgarner and Merrill Kelly to be the Obi-Wan to the rest of the young staff. But Kelly’s breakout 2022 came from nowhere and Baumgarner might as well run himself over with his own ATV at this point.

A couple more arms in the ‘pen wouldn’t hurt, that’s if the D-Backs are interested in leaping up from their 74 wins to the 86 or so it takes to at least breathe on a playoff spot for a couple of weeks. Kevin Ginkel and Joe Mantiply are the only ones they can trust out there now. But this is a team aimed at 2024 more than 2023.

Colorado Rockies

Projected 2023 Payroll: $155 million (and you’re about to wonder how it got that high)

Notable Free Agents: Yeah, right

Could they use Aaron Judge?: He would hardly be enough but it would be a start, and who wouldn’t want to see him at altitude 81 times a year?

What could they use besides Judge?: Every goddamn thing. This is a truly weird team run by one of the strangest ownership groups in sports where every failson and doofus kid who spent chemistry class drinking all the materials gets a job. This team is kinda old, and doesn’t have any prospects other than Ezequiel Tovar who’ll be anywhere near ready for years. They’re at both ends of the spectrum with nothing in the middle, and those ends are bad as well.

What they could really use is buying Iron Man parts for Kris Bryant, who only played 42 games last year. The Rockies even had a bad offense when weighted for playing half their games at Coors Field, with only one regular (Ryan McMahon) getting to a wRC+ over 100. They have to be praying that any or all of Charlie Blackmon, Randal Grichuk and his missing L, and C.J. Cron barf up a decent couple months so they can be peddled in their walk years for anything.

The rotation is a disaster too, with Germán Márquez and Kyle Freeland somehow still here and neither over 30 yet! The rest will be made up by the 2K player generator, and the less said the better.

The Rockies are too far gone to be saved in one offseason, and the adoption of any sort of plan would actually be a good start for them. Until then, they’ll play in a really nice park with an awesome beer selection and provide the occasional 19-11 game they’ll lose.

Los Angeles Dodgers

Projected 2023 Payroll: $165 million (don’t worry, it’ll go way higher)

Notable Free Agents: Trea Turner, Clayton Kershaw, Justin Turner (club option), Joey Gallo (trying to be nice), Tyler Anderson

Could they use Aaron Judge?: No, but they’ll sign him anyway

What could they use besides Judge?: “Use” is doing an awful lot of work here, because we know this team is going to win 105 games while belching up last night’s beer next season. They do have some decisions to make, though. The buzz has been that they’ll seriously consider kicking Mookie Betts back to second to accommodate Judge, though that would make their defense worse in two positions. They have both Miguel Vargas and Michael Busch, who could fill outfield vacancies if Cody Bellinger is non-tendered or at third if Justin Turner is left at a farm upstate. Or they could just sign Xander Bogaerts and kick him over to third after they re-sign Trea Turner. Or any of the other shortstops could be brought in if Turner leaves. Let’s just say there are options.

The rotation is a bit in flux. Kershaw will be back to slot behind Julio Urias and on either side of Tony Gonsolin once he’s done cleaning roadkill out of his facial hair. Tyler Anderson really isn’t a need, but they won’t have Walker Buehler, and Dustin May hasn’t gone through a full season after his Tommy John-itis either. They could probably use just a mid-rotation stabilizer while a litany of kids takes their turns auditioning (Pepiot, Miller, Stone). Or they’ll just sign deGrom and Verlander and trade their collection of pitchers bubbling underneath the surface for Ohtani.

If there’s one area they do need to upgrade it’s the ‘pen, though they will rid themselves of the plague of Craig Kimbrel. Whichever kids don’t make the rotation will probably land here at some point, but they could use a vet or two that they can overpay. Taylor Rogers seems obvious here.

Or they’ll just find a way to bring back prime-era Goose Gossage somehow.

San Diego Padres

Projected 2023 Payroll: $192 million

Notable Free Agents: Wil Myers and his missing L, Josh Bell, Sean Manea, Jurickson Profar, Mike Clevinger, Robert Suarez, Brandon Drury

Could they use Aaron Judge?: Seeing as how the whole organization’s ethos has been “Sure, why the fuck not?” the past three seasons, let’s just say, “Sure, why the fuck not?”

What they could use other than Judge: They’ll have some interesting calls here. This was only an OK offensive team last season, though most of that will be boosted by a full season and a return to full legend status from Juan Soto and the return of Fernando Tatis Jr. However, both will harm the defense, and the Padres were one of the best defensive teams in the league last year. This is not to be sneezed at.

Re-signing Josh Bell or bringing in another first baseman will keep Jake Cronenworth at second, where they need him. The real ballsy move would be to keep Ha-Seong Kim at short and have Tatis simply DH upon his return, but we want to be in the room when they try to sell that to Tatis. Keeping Kim with a glove on would keep their defense elite. Left field could be somewhere they could look to bump up, as Jurickson Profar has been a faithful servant but there are options out there if A.J. Preller is still in his “TAKE IT TO THE BANK DADDY!” mode. Given the dimensions at Petco, Trent Grisham’s glove is necessary, so if they want to try anything there that player has to be at least as good of a defender. Especially considering the help they’ll need to give Soto in right.

The Padres will need help in the four and five slots of the rotation. Clevinger and Manea just weren’t it last season, and given the health profiles of Yu Darvish or Blake Snell, they’ll need buttresses for the time they miss. Something in the Anderson-Bassitt-Cueto class? Let’s not rule out Preller getting loose after closing time again for one of the big fish either.

The ‘pen could use an arm or two as Josh Hader will go back to refusing to pitch anywhere but the ninth in a save situation. Have to figure Suarez will be brought back and maybe one other arm.

San Francisco Giants

Projected 2023 Payroll: $110 million

Notable Free Agents: Carlos Rodon, Brandon Belt, Evan Longoria, Joc Pedersen

Could they use Aaron Judge?: Most definitely, and they’re probably going to act like it to bring him home

What could they use besides Judge?: Anyone who can catch the fucking ball. The Giants had one of the worst defenses last year and undid a fair amount of work their staff was able to cobble together. Even if they were to nab Judge they probably still need to overhaul the other two outfield spots. Brandon Nimmo getting on the plane with Judge wouldn’t hurt at all. The Giants can save some money if Casey Schmitt can take over for Longoria at third, but he only has four games at AAA so far, so that’s more middle of the season than the beginning, unless something truly weird happens in Scottsdale. Again, whatever the Giants do, it has to be for guys who don’t wear the glove on their heads.

The rotation was surprisingly good (first in FIP), but loses a lot of steam without Rodon. Bringing him back really should be a high priority, and if they’re not in on the few big fish in the pitching pool then they probably need a couple from the next class down. Alex Cobb, Alex Wood, and Anthony Desclafani are all over 30 and none have been described as innings-eaters in the past. This was an 81-win team with Rodon, so you can see the need.

They could also use an ass-kicker or two in front of Camilo Doval, especially if the defense isn’t getting a major upgrade. No one other than Doval had an outrageous strikeout rate out of the pen, and John Brebbia and Tyler Rogers aren’t really anyone’s idea of the reaper coming in in the seventh or eighth.

It’s a nice story if they can bring Judge home, but they’ll need to show him what else they can do to make his time worth it and why he should give up the best park for a righty with opposite field power to the worst. 

Jeff Saturday’s hire is Exhibit A about what’s wrong with the NFL. It’s not consistent. It’s not fair, especially when it comes to its Black coaches.

Saturday, the former Indianapolis Colts offensive lineman, was named interim coach by his former team on Monday.

Simply put, Saturday is unqualified for the job.

He has no coaching experience in college or in the NFL as an assistant.

Saturday went from talking about football on TV to coaching an NFL team overnight.

He must be a genius football guru.

Nope. He’s simply the latest member of the White Privilege Club. This hire is even bad for the NFL which disregarded Black coaches so much that it had to make a rule and force white owners to interview Black candidates. In the last few years, they also added incentives to sweeten the pot.

Colts owner Jim Irsay said it was a gut feeling to hire Saturday. That’s what you say when there’s no resume to point to. “Want to bet against this guy?,” Irsay said at the press conference, defending his hire. “Put your money down. (I’d) love to see it, because I know what he’s about.”

Irsay could care less that the NFL is 70 percent Black. You would think the talent pool would be plentiful to choose from. Naw, this is the Good Ol’ Boys Network at its finest.

This is the same league that had a head coach who didn’t even play football beyond the youth level. But somehow, Todd Haley became the head coach of the Kansas City Chiefs. He played golf in college.

That’s right. His dad was a long-time NFL executive who got him in through the back door.

This is how the NFL operates. It’s nothing new. It’s disgraceful.

And for all those peeps who have downplayed Saturday’s hiring, saying it’s no big deal to be an interim coach, they couldn’t be more wrong.

Hiring Saturday — with no previous experience except coaching high school — legitimizes him now. It also gives him the inside track to getting the full-time gig and a four-year contract. “This is for eight games, hopefully more,” Irsay said about Saturday’s opportunity.

It will also make him attractive to other owners. Of course, they will want to interview him and see what Irsay saw in him to give a man with no experience a coveted job, one of just 32 on the planet.

Reggie Wayne should have gotten this job. After all, he checks a lot of the same boxes as Saturday — a former Colt that won a championship in the city. He was a beloved player by fans in that town. He’s the Colts’ all-time leader in games played.

Better yet, Wayne is already actually a coach on the staff. He leads the wide receivers. It would have been natural. Most of the time, an interim coach comes from the staff already in place. You don’t bring in someone completely new and try to change everything on the fly, halfway through the season.

Saturday is in a no-lose situation. The Colts are bad and there are no expectations from here on out. If they win any games, Saturday will look like a miracle worker. And, don’t forget, he will be praised to the high heavens.

If he doesn’t win, Irsay can say it wasn’t fair to thrust Saturday into such a situation. He will say the organization can’t fairly evaluate Saturday because he doesn’t have his own players and quarterback yet. And don’t forget, the Colts will claim that Saturday has changed the culture — even if it hasn’t shown up in the win-loss column yet. That’s also an easy one to throw in to boost someone’s stock. That’s because it can’t be measured. In other words, it’s phony.

Just like the Rooney Rule.

It’s a farce, a dog-and-pony show. It has done little to get Black coaches real opportunities at jobs. Mostly, it gets the Black applicant a free meal and hotel points. The team simply gets to check the required box and hire the guy they wanted all along. Saturday’s hiring has to remind you of Matt Millen’s hiring as general manager in Detroit. Somehow, the Ford family listened to Millen talk football on TV and figured he was so smart and could run their organization.

So with no experience, they turned over the keys to Millen. He went on to become arguably the worst GM in American sports history. Millen’s Lions went on to go 0-16 in 2008.

Saturday’s hiring isn’t just a bad look for the league; it’s deeper than that. It tells you how nothing has changed in the NFL. It’s still about who you know, not what you know.

NFL owners are making life easier for Brian Flores’ lawyers.

Almost exactly nine months to the day after the Houston Texans were on the verge of hiring Josh McCown — a former player who’d been moonlighting as an assistant high school coach in his free time — Colts owner Jim Irsay shocked the sports world on Monday when he bypassed two former head coaches on his staff to hire Jeff Saturday to take over for the recently fired Frank Reich.

Saturday’s claim to fame is that he was Peyton Manning’s longtime center in Indianapolis, and he would parlay that into a successful career in television. Saturday’s only coaching experience came at the high school ranks when he led Hebron Christian (Georgia) to a 20-16 record during his tenure from 2017-2019, according to the Gwinnett Daily Post.

Sounds crazy, right?

Well, it gets worse. Check out some of the things that were said by Irsay and Saturday during his introductory press conference on Monday.

“Why am I a candidate for this?” — Saturday.

“We were fortunate that he was available,” — Irsay.

“I came in, nobody expects anything. I’m here. Nobody expects anything. Hopefully it’ll go extremely well. But I have no preconceived notion that I’m gonna be some spectacular anything,” — Saturday.

“Yes he is fully experienced enough. Yes he is fully capable,” — Irsay.

If you hadn’t figured it out by now, McCown, Irsay, and Saturday are all white. Why is that important here? Because only white men get opportunities they’re consistently unqualified for — and then get championed by the people who put them in the position that they will ultimately fail at. It’s the only way to explain how Saturday, a 14-year NFL veteran and six-time Pro Bowler, has become the first NFL head coach without any experience on the college or pro level since 1961.

This is the world that Black coaches live in, as Irsay’s decision to choose Saturday has shown us what owners so often mean when they use the excuse of picking a coach “they’re comfortable with” or “would have a beer with.” NFL owners would rather lose with white coaches they consider friends than interview or hire Black coaches that could make their teams competitive. This is the epitome of white privilege.

However, what makes this situation even more maddening for Black coaches is that if Irsay would have chosen someone like Reggie Wayne — a Colts legend that’s on staff and who was a better player than Saturday — to be the interim head coach, it would have been a death sentence for him, given how it’s historically gone when Black coaches get hit with the interim tag.

Before Monday, since 2010 there had been 14 instances in which a white coach served as the interim. That list includes Darrell Bevell (twice), Rich Bisaccia, Bill Callahan, Joe Philbin, Steve Spagnuolo, John Fassel, Dan Campbell, Pat Shurmur, Tony Sparano, Jim Tomsula, Doug Marrone, Mike Mularkey, and Jason Garrett. Of that group, Marrone, Mularkey, and Garrett were chosen to stay on as head coaches. However, in that same time frame, there was never a time in which a Black interim coach was replaced by another Black coach.

Just last month, Steve Wilks — who along with Ray Horton is part of Brian Flores’ class-action lawsuit against the NFL, alleging racist hiring practices — was named the interim head coach in Carolina after Matt Rhule was fired.

A white head coach was fired. A Black assistant was elevated to interim. A white owner had this to say at the press conference.

“I had a talk with Steve, no promises were made, but if he does an incredible job, he has to be in consideration.”

A Black coach with previous head coaching experience has to be incredible just to be considered in Carolina, while a white guy with no experience who has spent the last few years on ESPN gets to be an interim coach in Indianapolis with support from the owner.

The NFL should send Brian Flores a blank check and immediately settle.

On Sunday, the Colts and Raiders will meet in the White Privilege Bowl as Jeff Saturday will make his debut with a Colts team that’s 3-5-1 against a 2-6 Las Vegas squad that’s led by another white head coach who had no business getting hired. Someone has to win. And sadly enough, whoever does will be celebrated for beating one of the worst teams in the league.