Let’s be brave. For most, it’s a foregone conclusion that Germany and Spain are going to come out of this group. Except neither’s recent World Cup history is all that glossy. Yeah, Germany won the tournament just two editions ago. They were also rightly kicked into the trash in the group stage last time out, and went out in the Round of 16 in the last Euros. Spain has played two knockout games in the last three World Cups, losing both, since winning it in 2010. It felt a little like a revival in Euro 2020(1) when they reached the semis and were a touch unlucky to go out on penalties to Italy. But this is Spain, whose reputation of dry heaving their way out of a tournament early is still much more established in history than being a world power. And Germany could be anything.

So if we want a true upset in the group stage, Japan seems like a pretty enticing bet. There are two faulty favorites above them, and they have a clear plan on how they play that they can always return to that can cause chaos. You may remember it from such episodes as, “Totally mud-stomping the US in September.”

You’re going to hear a lot about the way Japan plays more than the actual players who do it in this tournament. If Red Bull had a national team (might not be too much longer until they do given the way things are going), it would probably play like Japan. Japan press. And press. And press. They play out of a 4-2-3-1, and the four forward players make things awfully hard on any team trying to play out of the back. Which you can easily see Germany and Spain being insistent on doing.

Japan wants chaos, because there may not be a more direct team in the tournament. As soon as they win the ball they’re breaking up the field. It’s not quite Loyola-Marymount in 1990, but it’s close. Japan play at pace and live for the wider spaces they find when they can turn the ball over up the field. Which they do better than just about anyone in the field, though with the caveat that those numbers were piled up in Asian qualifying, hardly the strongest pool of teams.

The ones employing this hair-on-fire method might be names fans recognize. Takumi Minamino could rarely get off the bench for Liverpool the past few years and things in France with Monaco haven’t gone much better this season. But he is still a stalwart for the national team and had 10 goals in qualifying. Daichi Kamada has been a terror for Frankfurt in last year’s Europa League triumph and so far this year in both the Champions League and in the Bundesliga. Junya Ito might not be as familiar, as he only jumped from Genk in Belgium to Reims in Ligue 1 this year, but has four goals and an assist so far this season. Takefusa Kubo is another option for that attacking three behind a forward, and he gave the US plenty of headaches in that friendly.

That press is buffeted by a pretty steely defensive midfield, with Stuttgart’s Wataru Endo and Hidemasa Morita, who moved to Sporting Lisbon this season. They are the sharp end of the trap, as they snap into tackles in midfield in the hopes of quickly launching their forwards with passes and turnovers.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t some blinking lights on the dash. The defense could be a touch on the old side. Maya Yoshida is 34. Hiroki Sakai at right back is 32. Yuto Nagamoto, who may not be a starter, is 36. The kind of pressing Japan engages in leaves a lot of space behind if pierced, and you don’t generally want older players on the chase.

The big check engine light is of course, who the fuck is gonna score? Japan doesn’t have a “fuck you” scorer, and if they are successful in harassing or harrying Spain and Germany into mistakes, that won’t matter much if you don’t convert. Kamada can go on a binge from midfield. Minamino has an impressive scoring record for his country but recent form is shaky.

It would appear Celtic’s Daizen Maeda will get first call for the #9 role, even though his Celtic teammate Kyogo Furuhashi has more goals but wasn’t picked at all for Japan’s squad. But hey, anyone can get hot, right? The thinking must be that Japan’s tactics will open up enough chances that any punter can score just enough goals, and Maeda can be that punter. We shall see.

Of course, Germany could have the same problem. It is likely that Kai Havertz will start at the top of their lineup, except he’s the same guy who starts for Chelsea there and all the Chelsea supporters are screaming about how they can never score. Havertz is a true weirdo in that it’s impossible to figure out his position. He’s not really a forward, he’s not really an inverted winger type, no one plays with a #10 if it’s even sure he could do that full-time, and he’s a little lightweight to be a full-time midfielder. And yet he’s so immensely talented that no manager can leave him out.

And Die Mannschaft (they don’t really want to be called that anymore but it’s too fun not to say) are going to need goals, because this defense is iffy. The last time we saw them they were giving up three goals to England, with the Dortmund duo of Niklas Süle and Nico Schlotterbeck as the centerback paining. And no one ever confused Dortmund with stability in the back. Antoine Rudiger has returned from injury but probably isn’t enough on his own.

It’s good for Germany that the defense is so well supported both behind with keepers Manuel Neuer or Marc-Andre ter Stegen and in front with midfielders Joshua Kimmich and Leon Goretzka. New hot young thing in Munich’s Jamal Musiala is likely to be the third in there, with Ilkay Guduogan a steadying hand off the bench.

But the forward line can go either way. There’s Havertz, and Leroy Sané, who at times feels like he should be one of the most dangerous attackers in the world and sometimes you can’t find him with Heimdall. Serge Gnabry is solid enough, Thomas Muller looks to have aged out of the starting lineup, and a whole lot of inexperience behind that with Dortmund duo Karim Adyemi and Youssoufa Moukoko. It’s not a surprise that Mario Gotze was able to work a recall into this position given the utter wildcard nature of it. They could go in any direction.

Spain…hey look, another team we’re not quite sure where the goals will come from! Alvaro Morata is here again to confuse and bemuse. Dani Olmo do much for you up top? He’s not playing much for Leipzig at the moment. The other options aren’t going to get the pulse racing, but then again showing up to a major tournament without a recognized and in form striker is kind of Spain’s thing.

At least they seem to be turning over the rest of the team from the last generation, where Sergio Busquets can look forward to just backing up Rodri, and Barca starlets Gavi and Pedri take up the two #8 spots. There are more options, like Carlos Soler or Marco Llorente. This is probably the strength of the team and will cure a lot of ills. Wingers like Ferran Torres or Ansu Fati or Nico Williams or Yeremi Pino can certainly provide fireworks out wide, even if there’s no one in the middle to finish them off. Certainly getting wide and up the field is a good plan against Japan if Spain can bring themselves to be way more direct than their history suggests. But then, that was manager Luis Enrique’s thing at Barcelona. Like the other two teams described so far, you can see a young-ish 11 coming together here and going off…or just going home.

They might have to provide a lot of fireworks, because this defense is old and bendy in a lot of spots. Cesar Azpilicueta, Jordi Alba, Aymeric Laporte, and Dani Carvahal are still here. If it’s about turning it over to the next generation, then the likes of Hugo Guillamon, Eric Garcia, and Pau Torres are going to have to do it on this stage for the first time.

Their Euros run was kind of instructive, as they piled up 16.6 xG and scored 13 actual goals, 10 of which came in two games. Anyone who says they have any idea what Spain will do here is lying to you.

Costa Rica was able to save their qualifying campaign last year with four straight wins in the Ocho, including beating Canada and the US at home (though both were basically already qualified) and then topping New Zealand in the playoff. Keyler Navas is still here and ready to steal a point somewhere. Still, Costa Rica’s problem in qualifying was they were depending on a lot of geezers and that’s basically true with this squad, with over half over 30. Their last friendly saw them trot out some fresh blood in Anthony Contreras, Daniel Chacón, and Jewison Bennette. But it’s a bad sign when it’s either the AARP crew or the neophytes. Feels like a learning experience for the latter.

Manager most likely to get red carded

Luis Enrique is the chalk, given what we already know about him. But let’s go with Hansi Flick, as there’s already tension with him and his players given that he walked out on a good number of them at Bayern to take this job and he may just want a quick trigger if things go south.

Best jerseys

If it were just about aesthetics, Japan wins this group.

Schedule

Wednesday, November 23rd – Germany v. Japan (8am EST), Spain vs. Costa Rica (11am EST)

Sunday, November 27th – Japan v. Costa Rica (5am EST), Germany v. Spain (2pm EST)

Thursday, December 1st – Japan v. Spain, Germany v. Costa Rica (2pm EST)

No franchise took an even more humiliating blow than the Miami Heat, who terminated their 19-year naming rights deal with FTX a year after they agreed to a $135 million agreement to replace American Airlines as the official brand of the Heat’s home arena. It was small beans in comparison to the $700 million Crypto.com will pay Anschutz Entertainment Group, over the next 20 years to replace Staples as the brand synonymous with Lakers and Kings home games.

The Heat’s stadium deal was merely one domino to fall in Miami’s bid to become the Bitcoin Bro Capital. Mayor Francis Suarez and FTX CEO Sam Bankman-Fried sought to transform Miami into the global crypto epicenter. Suarez wooed FTX, which is based in the Bahamas and was a clue everything was not on the up and up, FTX moved its U.S. headquarters to Miami.

FTX only paid $14 million of that $135 million arrangement at the contract signing, but FTX isn’t off the hook with the Heat or the city of Miami. Their contract with Miami-Dade County, which owns FTX Arena, dictates that in the event of default, the crypto exchange company would be liable to pay three years of contract fees within 60 days. Currently, FTX owes $16.5 million over the next three years and the County has the right to charge 12 percent interest annually until the payments are made.

Tennis’ former No. 1 Naomi Osaka, David Ortiz, Trevor Lawrence and Shaq also lost big due to FTX’s collapse. The Washington Wizards and their G League affiliate didn’t take as big of a hit as the Heat, but in a Thanos snap their partnerships evaporated as well. With any luck, this debacle will convince consumers not to follow athletes off a potential financial cliff. They can take the hint and they are often being truthful when they tell you they aren’t experts.

Projected 2023 Payroll: Whatever’s leftover from the sale of Liverpool

Notable Free Agents: Xander Bogaerts, Nathan Eovaldi, J.D. Martinez, Tommy Pham, Michael Wacha, Rich Hill

Could they use Aaron Judge? If only for the schadenfreude to be enjoyed by all, but also yes, quite so

What else could they use besides Judge? Their ownership giving a flying fuck again, but that ship seems to have sailed. The Red Sox might lose a fuckton of offense in Martinez and Bogaerts this winter, and they’ll have to do something about that. Maybe they promised Trevor Story the shortstop spot when they signed him as Xander exited stage left, but then they will need someone at second. Triston Casas will take over at first, and looks to be the new Greek God of Walks (even though he’s not Greek, but that’s that tradition).

The outfield is truly sad, as right now it’s an Alex Verdugo-Enrique Hernandez-Rob Refsnyder look — and that’s a bad look. They could use help in any of the spots, both at the plate and with the glove, as their outfield defense was bordering on woeful last season. Does Judge cure most of that? Sure does! Give it to us!

November has rolled around, and like clockwork, the Dallas Cowboys proved once again why they can’t be trusted once expectations are placed on their shoulder pads. Nobody outside Wisconsin gave the Packers a chance to beat the Cowboys Sunday afternoon. Unfortunately, Dallas must’ve missed the email that they were supposed to win this game without much resistance.

After all, Green Bay was coming off a loss to Detroit, their fifth consecutive, and a game where Rodgers threw three interceptions. Despite flaws in their run defense, Dallas controlled much of this game through three quarters. In fact, coming into this game, the Cowboys had never lost a game in the franchise’s history when leading by at least 14 points after three quarters. So, of course, the Packers stormed back to win this game in overtime, 31-28.

There’s something about November that doesn’t sit well with Jerry Jones’ Cowboys. That was always the knock during the Tony Romo era. The entire team was Hall of Fame-bound and Super Bowl-worthy in September and October. Once November hit, their attitudes and play tended to change. The same thing is still happening under Dak Prescott’s watch.

Since 2018, the Cowboys have lost their first game of November four out of five years. In that time, Dallas is 8-11 in November games, including Sunday’s loss to Green Bay. Any momentum this team builds through the first half of the year usually begins to crumble after Halloween.

It’s hard to pinpoint who’s to blame since it’s gone on for so long. We can always blame Jones, but he’s not going anywhere, so that argument is futile. For years the blame fell onto the shoulders of Tony Romo and seemingly perennial 8-8 head coach Jason Garrett. Now the burden is placed squarely on Prescott and head coach Mike McCarthy. The coach who once led the same Packers and Rodgers to a Super Bowl over a decade ago and, frankly speaking, still lives off that feat to this day.

Following a failed fourth down conversion in overtime, McCarthy was captured on the sideline slamming his headset to the ground in disgust. He shouldn’t be mad at anyone but himself. The Cowboys had every opportunity to shut the door on the Packers and failed to execute. McCarthy should be worried about Sean Payton lurking in the shadows to replace him if Dallas fails again in the postseason. Payton’s history with the Cowboys is well publicized, as he was once an assistant under Bill Parcells from 03-05.

There’d been a lot of hype around this Cowboys defense this season. They had built themselves up to a 6-2 record entering this game. But the one aspect of Dallas’ “Big D” that’s been shaky has been defending the run. And Green Bay took full advantage of that chink in the Cowboys’ armor, rushing for 207 yards. Aaron Jones gashed the Cowboys for 138 yards on the ground, with A.J. Dillon contributing another 65.

So, Dallas ultimately has the same issue they’ve had for a long time. They aren’t a physical team, and when they face teams willing to slow things down and get dirty, the Cowboys fold like cheap lawn chairs. It happened against Green Bay, then earlier this season in Philadelphia, and it was the same against the 49ers in the NFC wildcard game in January. Teams that aren’t concerned with style points (meaning they don’t care about passing 40 times a game) will run the ball and play tough defense and beat Dallas. It’s just that simple.

Another staggering stat from this loss is that Rodgers is now 8-2 (including playoffs) against Dallas during his career. Rodgers was down and looking washed up; the Packers came in having lost five in a row, the Cowboys were coming off the bye, and they still couldn’t beat Rodgers. Everything was in Dallas’ favor, and they still wet the bed.

We always talk about superstition in sports and what teams are “cursed” in different leagues. It may be time to face the reality that the Cowboys might be cursed. It would explain a lot. It’s only been over a quarter of a century since “America’s Team” has reached an NFC title game and Super Bowl. And they’ve only advanced past the wildcard round a handful of times since then.

Since Jerry Jones insists on “running” this team (which will continue) and sticking his nose where it shouldn’t be, this will forever be the team’s fate. They’ll win a lot of regular season games, then get trampled early in the playoffs. It’s the same ‘ol thing from these Cowboys.

It wasn’t a coincidence. It was evidence.

Months after Brian Flores, Ray Horton, and Steve Wilks came together to sue the NFL for its racist hiring practices, a Week 10 matchup between two of the league’s worst teams in Las Vegas wound up proving that taking legal action against the biggest and baddest league in the country was a worthy gamble.

When Josh McDaniels’ Las Vegas Raiders (2-7) fell to Jeff Saturday’s Indianapolis Colts (4-5-1) 25-20 inside Allegiant Stadium on Sunday, it wasn’t just another bad loss for a bad team led by a horrible coach whose resume has also shown that he’s incapable of running his own team — it was a three-plus hour indictment on the whitewashing of the position of head coach in the NFL.

Only in this country could a white coach with a terrible track record compete against a white coach who was making his coaching debut in a game that didn’t include teenagers, while the league is being taken to court for situations just like this one, and it’s broadcast on CBS for millions to watch. It was the perfect example of how America works and this country’s obsession with mediocrity.

For those of you that get angry when you hear terms like “white privilege,” let me explain it for you — unless you’re just in denial…which you probably are. It doesn’t mean that white people live a life that’s problem free. It simply means that there are advantages that white people enjoy because of the color of their skin. We’re not blaming you for it. We’re asking you to own it and acknowledge it when it so often occurs.

For instance, white privilege was on full display in the Colts/Raiders game because, if Saturday and McDaniels were Black, they wouldn’t have been hired in the first place. Failing up and being chosen for jobs without a resume is a phenomenon that’s solely experienced by white people, especially if they’re men. This is why Skip Bayless thinks he can be a competent general manager in the NFL, which isn’t crazy after seeing that it just happened a few years ago. Mike Mayock left TV in 2018 to become the Raiders GM to work with Jon Gruden — another flagrant example of white privilege. We would later find out that Gruden is a racist, homophobe, and a misogynist, and was given a 10-year, $100 million contract to coach after a successful run on television that was all due to winning a single Super Bowl in Tampa Bay, with a team that was built by their former head coach — Tony Dungy, a Black man.

No one is mad at Saturday for taking a position that Jim Irsay was dumb enough to offer him. We’re upset that something this insane could even happen, and that Saturday still refuses to blatantly own the fact that he shouldn’t be here, as his race is the sole reason why he has a headset. There’s a reason why Irsay didn’t hire Reggie Wayne.

Not only was Sunday’s game (which featured a man who used to coach high school and another that’s lost 24 of his last 31 games as an NFL head coach) a slap in the face to every Black head coach, Black coordinator, or Black man or woman of color that’s ever aspired to lead their own team, it spat in the face of every coach that’s ever worn a headset on an NFL sideline — regardless of their race.

There used to be a blueprint for coaches in the NFL. In the past, if you were Black, being a defensive coordinator was the way to become a head coach. That changed when an emphasis was put on the offensive side of the ball, yet Kansas City’s Eric Bieniemy and Tampa’s Byron Leftwich are still waiting on their opportunities. For white coaches, there were two avenues to success: Be a respected veteran with experience, or be a young innovative mind that was a copycat version of one the most successful coaches of that era, i.e. the next Bill Belichick, Mike Shanahan, or Sean McVay.

That’s over now.

When Jeff Saturday beat Josh McDaniels on Sunday, it broke the ladder of success for all coaches in the NFL. Now, it’s about being the guy that an owner likes the most without even knowing what those characteristics may be. You could be working on a sideline as an assistant or simply talking about the game on TV. And despite the lack of experience you may have and how crazy all of this may sound, you’ll still probably wind up winning your first game due to the way that owners are hiring coaches on a whim. Because if Jeff Saturday can do it, then anyone can. And you can even call your own shot.

For all of the press that Romeo Doubs received during the summer, the wide receiver from the Green Bay Packers 2022 draft class who they had their hopes set on the most was Christian Watson. This FCS star put an exclamation point on his evaluation at the draft combine.

Watson, who is listed at 6-foot-4, 208 pounds, ran a 4.36 in the 40-yard-dash. He registered a 38.5 inch vertical jump, and his hands measured at 10 ⅛ inches. That type of draft combine profile would entice an NFL team, especially a franchise that recently lost one of the NFL’s best wide receivers, and convince them to select him with one of the first picks of the second round.

Against one of the NFL’s best defenses on Sunday, Watson put the Dallas Cowboys in the smoker until they fell apart in his hand. His previous high total in receptions this season was three. Watson topped it by one on Sunday, but those four catches resulted in far more than nine yards. He totaled 107 yards receiving, and also hauled in three touchdowns. If not for Watson misplaying a ball, he could’ve had four touchdown catches on the day.

Even though Watson was the first offensive player who the Packers selected in the 2022 draft, much of the offseason hype went to Doubs. Watson underwent knee surgery during the summer and it cost him time during training camp. Doubs, an FBS player at Nevada, was one of the best performers at the 2022 Senior Bowl. Only one person clocked a faster MPH during a single play.

Watson’s injuries continued as the season began with a hamstring issue that kept him out, and he was in concussion protocol during Week 9. When he was on the field, Aaron Rodgers wasn’t impressed. Watson last played during the Packers’ Week 8 loss to the Washington Commanders. It was after that loss when, during Rodgers’ weekly appearance on The Pat McAfee Show, he suggested that players who make too many mistakes need to be benched.

Without Watson’s dynamic plays against the Cowboys, the Packers’ don’t pull out their first victory since Oct. 2. In recent weeks, their offense has been as tight as traffic around a presidential motorcade. The Rodgers that the football fans are accustomed to, who can place 30-yard passes in a pass catcher’s side pocket, wasn’t performing that way.

Maybe he had become too dependent on current Las Vegas Raider Davante Adams, maybe the new receiving corps was poorly adjusting to the offense, or perhaps the 38-year-old Rodgers was running out of juice and this contract extension was a bad move by the Packers.

That is all still on the table, and at 4-6 the Packers have a long way to go to snag a wild-card spot with both the Cowboys and New York Giants well over .500, and the last NFC playoff spot being held by the new and improved San Francisco 49ers with Christian McCaffrey.

Maybe 2022 isn’t salvageable, but if Watson starts to perform on the field like he did at the scouting combine, the future Packers’ offense will look more like the unit that led the way to the NFC’s best record in 2020 and 2021.

The Buffalo Bills continue to find more excruciating ways to break their fans’ hearts by losing. This time they did it in the closing seconds and overtime of their Week 10 matchup against the Minnesota Vikings.

With less than a minute left in regulation, Buffalo had stopped the Vikings on a 4th down goal line quarterback sneak, only for the Bills to turn around and fumble, allowing Minnesota to recover in the end zone to take the lead and what felt like the game at that time.

The roar of the Buffalo crowd after that fourth-and-goal stop was that of a fanbase whose team had just secured its biggest win of the season. But in a matter of a few minutes, the home crowd fell from its perch on cloud nine, down into the depths of torment that have plagued this franchise for years.

A game the Bills led 27-10 late in the third quarter was then allowed to become a rollercoaster ride of emotion for Buffalo fans, in which they came out on the losing end again. Unfortunately, if you live in Buffalo, you’re all too familiar with how quickly things can go south when leading with seconds remaining on the game clock.

Last postseason in the AFC Divisional round, everyone remembers the 13-second miracle Patrick Mahomes, and the Kansas City Chiefs orchestrated to send that game to overtime against the Bills. KC went on to win that showdown, 42-36. Obviously, the finality of that one meant the end of Buffalo’s season, but if you’re a player, coach, or fan of the Bills, this loss to the Vikings likely brings back memories of that playoff loss.

These heartbreaking losses have always seemed to find the Bills for whatever reason. Remember the “Music City Miracle” game? Buffalo also came out on the losing end of that wildcard game during the 1999 playoffs against the Tennessee Titans. The game’s final scoring play is still controversial to this day because of how close that “lateral pass” was to being a forward pass by the Titans. But the referees upheld the call, and Tennessee beat Buffalo, 22-16.

If you want to go even further back, there are the four consecutive Super Bowl losses for the early 90s Bills led by Jim Kelly, Thurman Thomas, and Andre Reed. Three of the four Super Bowl appearances weren’t close. But the first game, which closed out the ‘90-91 campaign, was the most gut-wrenching, as Buffalo lost on the foot of kicker Scott Norwood, who missed a 47-yard field goal attempt that would’ve won the game.

Fun fact: The Bills and Vikings are the only two organizations that have lost four Super Bowls inside of a decade. As mentioned above the Bills of the early ’90s lost four consecutive and the Vikings lost four in the ‘70s. The only other team to lose four Super Bowls, in general, is the Denver Broncos. They were beaten once in the 70s and three times in the 80s.

However, these Bills fans might know better than many how it feels to have victory within their clutches only to see it snatched away at the last second. The last couple minutes of the fourth quarter and overtime for the Bills and Vikings in Week 10 were among the most exciting we’ve seen this year. Some are already calling this the game of the year.

Buffalo came into the season as a Super Bowl favorite, but if they are to fulfill this prophecy, they’ll need to figure out how to better close teams out in tight games. Late-game execution will be critical for the Bills heading down the stretch of the season and into the playoffs. The run defense was leaking a bit this week as Buffalo allowed Dalvin Cook to rush for more yards than their defense normally gives up. Buffalo gives up just under 110 rushing yards per game, and Cook gained 119. He even got loose for a 67-yard TD run late in the third quarter that got Minnesota back in this game.

While this was a regular season loss, the sting of it will likely take a while to subside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You’d be severely challenged to come up with a duo more up their own ass than Cristiano Ronaldo and Piers Morgan, so it was kind of perfect and perfectly puke-worthy that Ronaldo carefully chose Morgan for his tactical masterplan to get booted out of Manchester as soon as possible. It was right as the Premier League took a break for the World Cup, and there’s nothing to distract for a week so Ronaldo can be the center of attention, as fucking always.

And it was Ronaldo looking at a situation he created, much like Durant did, and taking no responsibility for it and then deciding he’s too good for it when all his exits have been blocked off.

“Yes I feel betrayed, and I felt some people don’t want me here, not just this year, but last year too,” said Ronaldo.

To review: Ronaldo has left both a preseason game and league game early because he decided it wasn’t worth his time. He tried to bellyache his way out of the club in the summer, only to find that no one wanted him. He has refused to come on as a substitute in games, and generally been a pain in the ass. And then he complains of not being respected after showing none.

There’s some garbage about only wanting the best for Manchester United and he’s for the fans, but it’s a desperate ploy to also try and be the good guy while firebombing his relationship to the team and coach. It’s a version of Kyrie’s “I’m just telling the truth!” hoping to be seen as some sort of martyr/savior when you’re just a whiny bitch.

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It’s probably difficult to have any sense of your place in the world when you’re as famous as Ronaldo, and have gotten away with what he has allegedly gotten away with.

Much like Durant, Ronaldo did this to himself. He declared Juventus not up to his standard, and he went to a club that was a mess. It’s his game that has eroded to the point that he can only do one thing, albeit a very important thing (score), but his one-trick game impacts too many others’ and the team’s that he’s a detriment. He wrecks a team’s attack when he’s not scoring himself, and he damages a defense with his non-activity without the ball. His game has devolved while the sport as a whole has evolved. It is time’s and his fault that no other club wanted him.

His last play is to be so toxic that United will simply release him and that maybe some team will take him on for free, somehow forgetting the boil on the ass of United and Juve that he’s been. But of course, nothing in Ronaldo’s world has ever been his fault. Much like Durant.