Thursday Night Football is usually a pretty sad occasion as ritual, given the mess that it tends to be with the short rest and everyone still very much sore from the game they played just four days prior, and the lack of practice time dulling any sharpness. But last night was particularly acute.

There are plenty of logical reasons that Tom Brady and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers blow chunks now. Plenty of schematic things that experts can draw out, the miscommunication he and his receivers seemingly can’t escape, the throws he’s not making anymore, or the additional hits and pressure he’s taking. I’ll leave that for someone who knows more about the nuts and bolts of football and the NFL. What no one can miss is just the overall sadness of watching the experience.

Maybe the shock for all of us is that Brady can feel human emotion at all instead of pantomiming whatever he sees other people do to try and appear as close to normal as he can, which is what I and most everyone else assumed. And this isn’t meant to drum up any noticeable amount of sympathy for Brady, because he’s had everything he could have ever wanted professionally or personally, or financially for so long. But hey, money can’t buy everything, I suppose. Still, we’ve all been there, if all the rumors and tabloid headlines are true. Breakups are truly the worst, especially when they coincide with another major part of one’s life falling apart. For Brady, that’s his professional one. We know the latter was the major pillar of his life, and have to assume his family was at least close to one. Or at least he was pretending it was. Either way, something’s crumbling.

Brady and the Bucs are a Seattle winter: Gray and cold and the darkness feels like it’ll never lift, the dampness feeling like it gets through the skin, while not being quite so miserable that it can truly break someone, meaning he and they just have to carry it. Every throw that lands at a receiver’s ankles on the bounce, every sack he takes, every pass that is nearly picked off because it’s not thrown where the receiver was supposed to be or vice versa, could be soundtracked by Joy Division. It’s become more than a chore for everyone. No one is enjoying this, and yet they’re forced to go through it.

It spreads beyond Brady. The offense clearly is burdened by shouldering the blame/responsibility for what’s going wrong, because no one’s ever going to pin it on Brady and he’s’ certainly going to let all the cameras know who he thinks was to blame for yet another drive fizzling out at midfield. The defense is exhausted from carrying an offense that can’t be roused to do anything but cry into their beer. The handpicked coaches gasp at having no answers.

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If it wasn’t for Brady, it really would be hard to watch. Brady spent so long acting as if he was immune to any wrong turn or displeasure and that manufactured smile was plastered all over our TVs and websites. It’s actually refreshing to see someone who looked impenetrable break in a way.

Everything with the Bucs looks like it weighs 300 pounds to carry. It’s sluggish, it’s joyless, it’s unrelenting. They don’t run so much as trudge. It’s as if they’ve been enclosed in a plastic bubble and they’re just watching the rest of the league and world pass by in a separate place they can’t access.

Perhaps when you go as long as Brady did living above what plagues every other human, when it actually hits it hits like a wrecking ball wielded by a celestial being. And it takes everyone with you. The Bucs are sadness.

Connor McDavid plays with his food

Racking up a hat trick against the decidedly woebegone-on-purpose ’Hawks isn’t that big of an accomplishment, no matter how spiky they’ve been in the season’s opening throes, but Connor McDavid can usually attach a sense of whimsy to just about anything. His second goal was good enough:

Seth Jones plays this about as well as he can, as you have to give McDavid something of a gap, otherwise, he’s just going around you for a guided tour to the net. At that speed to pick that corner, he’s really the only player on Earth capable, aside from maybe Nathan MacKinnon.

Of course, McDavid is also just about the only player who can to that goal so thoroughly:

Jake McCabe, you can pick up your soul somewhere around Palace Grill after the game. McDavid deposits that shot five-hole with the same precision and lack of emotion that you and I pick off the Oreos in the cookie aisle. Hopefully, he won’t be going through a public divorce of his own making anytime soon, given his similar distant relationship with human emotion like Brady. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ian Eagle is really good at his job. Gus Johnson’s just better.

Earlier this week it was reported that the 2023 NCAA Tournament will be the final March Madness that Jim Nantz will call after over three decades on the job. With next year’s Final Four in Houston, it’s the perfect place to end his run as he’s a University of Houston alum. And while Nantz will still be the voice of football on Sundays for CBS and the Masters in Augusta, his days of calling college basketball’s crown jewel are coming to an end.

Too bad the network fumbled his replacement.

This is no diss or shot at Ian Eagle who will take over for Nantz. Eagle can do it all, as he currently calls NBA, NFL, and college basketball games. He’s great. It’s just that he’s not Johnson. And while Johnson hasn’t called a tournament game since he left CBS for Fox back in 2011, Fox’s top college football call-man gets to do a few college basketball games each season.

Networks don’t usually play around when it comes to letting their talent dabble on rival airwaves, but CBS and Fox set a precedent earlier this year when they worked out a deal as part of the Big Ten’s new seven-year $7 billion media rights deal that also includes NBC.

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Check this out per ESPN — who lost out on the deal:

“The Big Ten designed the agreement to pair major networks with specific windows on college football Saturdays. Fox will air games beginning at noon ET. CBS, which has a deal with the SEC that expires after the 2023 football season, in 2024 will begin airing Big Ten games in the same midafternoon window. NBC will carry Big Ten games in primetime, which will be branded ‘Big Ten Saturday Night.’ Big Ten games also will appear on Peacock, NBC’s direct-to-consumer streaming platform.

“The Big Ten Network will continue to air football games — up to 50 per year from 2024 through 2029 — as well as most of the league’s men’s and women’s basketball games and Olympic sports. The Big Ten will add a second Black Friday football game on CBS (Iowa and Nebraska have traditionally played a Black Friday game on Fox).

“Fox will carry 24-32 football games per season during the agreement, while NBC will carry 14-16 games on its linear network and eight games per year on Peacock. Beginning in 2024, CBS will carry 14-15 Big Ten games per season.”

If rival networks can work together for the sake of money, then they can figure out a way to make the most excitable voice in sports — who is a March Madness legend — the new play-by-play man for the NCAA Tournament. In case you didn’t know, the tournament makes over 80 percent of the NCAA’s annual revenue — which means they should want the excitement that Johnson brings to games, too.

Earlier this year, FOX chose Kevin Burkhardt to replace Joe Buck as the network’s top play-by-play man for the NFL instead of Johnson. It was another example of how whitewashed broadcast booths have become. This year’s NFL lead broadcasting booths feature Buck and Troy Aikman, Burkhardt and Greg Olsen, Nantz and Tony Romo, Al Michaels and Kirk Herbstreit, and Cris Collinsworth and Mike Tirico — which equates to 8 white guys, Romo and an “Italian” since that’s what Tirico identifies as.

The 2022 March Madness broadcast play-by-play callers were pretty much the same as they included Nantz, Eagle, Brian Anderson, Kevin Harlan, Lisa Byington, Andrew Catalon, Spero Dedes, and Brad Nessler — which adds up to one woman and no Black people.

When Jim Nantz started calling the NCAA Tournament in 1991 there wasn’t much, or any, diversity in the broadcast booth. All these years later, and a white guy is replacing a white guy. Doesn’t look like progress to me.

I’m one of many hockey observers that Coyotes fans, whoever they may be, claim to have an agenda at all times against the Yotes. And on some level, it’s fair, because it is hypocritical to talk often at length about the place teams have for fans in their lives and the public trust that they really are and then turn around and call for the Coyotes to be punted out of Arizona at the quickest convenience. However many Coyotes fans there may be, they are owed the same patience and understanding.

And then you see shit like this, and it becomes clear that it’s none of our faults that Coyotes ownership and Gary Bettman’s insistence on installing whatever fuckwit he hits with a thrown brick to buy this husk haven’t lived up to their dedication:

The caveat here is that this is only the temporary set-up for visiting teams at Mullett Arena, but it’s also important to consider the entire context. Mullett Arena is the temporary solution the Coyotes came up with, essentially playing in a warehouse outfitted to be a college arena because A) they were booted out of the arena they foisted upon the residents of Glendale because they were such shitty tenants in every way and B) they still don’t have a permanent solution.

We’ll get to the second and most galling aspect there in a second. But again, this is the temporary solution, because the away team facilities at this temporary solution for the homeless Yotes aren’t ready yet. So why should they get to play a home game at all? It’s not fair to the Jets, Rangers, Panthers, and Stars, who will all have to use this COVID-era quarantine tank as their facilities for a real NHL game. The Islanders had a real arena being readied last season and were forced to be on the road for over a month until it was ready in every way to host an NHL game, which included the proper facilities for the road team.

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And now circling back to the worst part of this, at least from an optics standpoint, is that this isn’t the Coyotes serving out a waiting period while a true arena is built. This isn’t the Blue Jays exiled to Buffalo. It’s not the Chargers playing in a soccer stadium. The Coyotes don’t have a certain stadium solution! The Tempe council has agreed to move forward in working with them to get to an agreement to build an arena there, but they haven’t come close to clearing every hurdle yet. It may not happen at all. There is nothing sure about this. The Coyotes could very well be a university’s tenant with no end or for no purpose other than Bettman not wanting to admit a defeat.

There are arenas ready to go in Kansas City, or Quebec City, or Houston, or Portland. Wouldn’t that be a better solution while the Coyotes figure out if they can even build an arena in Tempe? As well as a barometer of whether any of those places could take the Coyotes full-time? Certainly, there would be proper facilities. And how many teams get to build two arenas where one already failed and the next, if ever built, is hardly certain to succeed? The Coyotes were such a financial drain they got kicked out of Glendale. Do we know it’ll be different in Tempe?

Yeah, it’s only four games. But it’s four games in what is already a joke of a solution. Would the other three leagues accept this?

The NHL will probably get the players on the four visiting teams that have to put up with this to toe the line. They’ll say it’s just part of the grind, it’s not so bad, it’s one game, they’re hockey players, the regular season tosses up a lot of challenges, etc. They may very well be instructed to.

At this point, it’s important to note that if the Coyotes sell every ticket this year, they’ll average 5,000 fans per game. The Thrashers, whom the NHL never lifted a finger to save, averaged 13K in their last season in the Dirty South.

It’s nothing short of a joke. It has been for a decade or more. And yet the bar keeps sinking. 

A forgotten head coach from a forgotten time in Denver Broncos’ history, Vance Joseph is most well known for being the man Sergio Dipp was talking about during the greatest sideline report of all time.

Since that fateful day, Joseph lost his job in Denver and has served as the Arizona Cardinals defensive coordinator since the 2019 season. In his first season with the team, the Cardinals had the worst defense in the league, surrendering a league-high 6,432 total yards, and were tied for the fourth-most touchdowns against. In 2020, Arizona’s D improved dramatically — although the only way to go was up — finishing 13th in yards allowed. In 2021, the unit was 11th. And now, in 2022, they have fallen back down to Earth, ranking 22nd. However, that number is not indicative of just how solid Joseph has been with this defense.

This season, the Cardinals are spending a devastatingly low $77,228,871 on their defense. That ranks 24th in the NFL. This past offseason, Arizona lost arguably its best defensive player, Chandler Jones. Sure, there are some up-and-comers in the likes of Zaven Collins and Isaiah Simmons, but aside from Budda Baker, this defense is filled with low-end players.

In terms of points and yards allowed the Cards don’t look that good, sure, but remove the Kanas City Chiefs and New Orleans Saints games for a second. Without those two dumpster fires, Arizona has allowed an average of 19.6 points per game, which would tie it for 10th in the NFL. The Redbird held the Philadelphia Eagles, L.A. Rams, Carolina Panthers, and Seattle Seahawks all to 20 points or fewer in three of those games. Seven of Carolina’s points came via a pick-6. The Iggles and the ‘Hawks are both top-12 teams in the NFL this year in terms of yards per game, and both are top-five in terms of points scored per game, yet Philly scored its fewest points of the season against a pretty mediocre (on paper) Cardinals defense and Seattle scored its third-fewest.

If you want to get into specifics, Vance Joseph has really done well with the Arizona cornerbacks. Through most of training camp, one of the men competing for one of Arizona’s starting spots at the position was Antonio Hamilton. In early September, Hamilton suffered serious second and third-degree burns that almost killed him.

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Thankfully, he’s since made a full recovery and is playing once again, but he did miss the first four games of the season. The Cardinals’ secondary wasn’t at full strength. Despite Hamilton’s absence, here’s how each of Arizona’s opponents’ top receivers did in their matchups:

• JuJu Smith-Schuster: 6 receptions, 79 yards, 1 fumble lost
• Davante Adams: 2 receptions, 12 yards, 1 touchdown
• Cooper Kupp: 4 receptions, 44 yards, 1 rushing touchdown
• DJ Moore: 6 receptions, 50 yards

That’s already pretty good. Kupp and Adams combined for six total receptions against the Cards! You could argue that JuJu and Moore each had good days with six receptions apiece, but neither got into the end zone.

The dominance against opposing top options continued after Hamilton returned.

• A.J. Brown: 3 receptions, 32 yards
• D.K. Metcalf: 2 receptions, 34 yards (if you believe Tyler Lockett is Seattle’s No. 1, he recorded two receptions for 17 yards)

It wasn’t until Chris Olave’s seven-reception, 106-yard performance last Thursday night that a true No. 1 receiver really broke through against the Cardinals’ secondary. You can praise Byron Murphy, Jalen Thompson, and Baker all you like. They’re all good players, but given Joseph’s history as a DB in the NFL, it shouldn’t be a surprise that this unit has blossomed.

Joseph has also consistently made fantastic halftime adjustments throughout the season. In the second half, Arizona is allowing an average of just 10.4 points per game. Take out the Saints game, and that number drops to 8.83. Take out the Chiefs game as well and that number drops to just 6.4. I know it’s unfair to judge Arizona solely on its best defensive games, but I do sincerely believe that matchups against the Raiders, Seahawks, Rams, and Eagles are tough enough as is.

Now, none of this necessarily means Joseph would make a good head coach. Maybe he’s best as a DC. But, last season, when Kliff Kingsbury had to step away due to COVID, Joseph became the co-head coach alongside assistant head coach/special teams coordinator Jeff Rodgers. The Cardinals went into Cleveland and scored their second-most points of the season, demolishing the Browns 37-14. Cleveland was fifth in total defense that year. The only teams to score more points against the Browns than the Cardinals that year were the Chiefs, Los Chargers, and… the New England Patriots. Okay, that last one isn’t as impressive but it’s still a good feat for a team that was without their head coach, quarterbacks coach, and two defensive linemen.

Yes, Joseph’s tenure with the Broncos wasn’t good. He went 11-21 and never finished better than third in the AFC West. However, he has said he wants another shot at head coaching in the NFL. Based on what he’s been able to do in Arizona, he definitely deserves that second shot. Even if the team’s record isn’t great, it hasn’t been the defense’s fault. Start giving Vance Joseph the credit he deserves. He’s definitely having the time of his life right now.

We haven’t seen Jamal Murray score more than 40 points since he dropped a 50 burger on the Cavs in February 2021. To be fair, he didn’t tear his ACL until a couple of months after that, didn’t have an injury history before the tear, and, at his peak, can score with any guard in the NBA.

He didn’t return to the playoffs last season like a lot of Denver fans had hoped for, but I’d rather not mess with rushing back from an ACL when it wouldn’t have mattered. Thus far, in about 26 minutes per game, he’s still finding his legs and the confidence in them. The Nuggets are 2-2 in games he’s played (they’re 3-2 overall), and he’s shooting 38 percent from the floor, 6 points lower than his career average.

Unless you had money on the Nuggets for the best record in the league, it’s insanely early to worry about him, or his team, though. They have the reigning two-time MVP, and Nikola Jokic essentially doubles as training wheels for Murray’s comeback.

My biggest worry about Denver is its defense, and it’ll take a bit for the seventh-year guard to regain the ability to stick with opposing backcourts. The Nuggets are bottom four in points allowed at 111 per game, and only really have two, maybe three defense-first guys on their roster in Kentavious Caldwell-Pope, Aaron Gordon, and whatever bench player Nugs’ fans think I forgot.

The Dallas Cowboys are currently in a position to make the postseason in back-to-back years for the first time since the beginning of the Tony Romo era in 2006 and 2007. They’ve been good thus far, standing 5-2 after seven games, but if they wish to do more than make the playoffs, they’ll need to make another big Jerry Jones splash move on the offensive side of the ball.

Dallas’ owner and general manager Jerry Jones did make one move before the Nov. 1 trade deadline by acquiring Raiders defensive tackle Johnathan Hankins for a ‘23 sixth-round draft pick. That move won’t put them over the top and make them a legitimate threat to win the NFC.

Jones needs to make a move at the wide receiver position and add one more playmaker to make this offense as explosive as it once was. After trading Amari Cooper in the offseason and losing Cedric Wilson Jr. to free agency, the Cowboys entered the season thin at the position. Add the injured Michael Gallup, who missed the first three games of the season recovering from ACL surgery, and you can see why Dallas ranks 26th in passing yards through seven games.

Last year Dallas produced the No. 1 passing offense in the NFL, and they’ve dropped considerably this season. Of course, not having three of their top four receivers to start the year was a factor, and Dak Prescott missing five games also plays a part in the lack of explosiveness we’ve seen in Big D.