If the playoffs were starting right now, the New England Patriots would be the AFC’s sixth seed. They’d get an opening-round matchup with the Tennessee Titans, followed by a likely road gig against the Kansas City Chiefs. It’s a tough path in the already daunting American Football Conference. That said, if any team is going to come out of the AFC that isn’t the Chiefs, Bills, or Dolphins, I have a sneaky suspicion the Patriots could be that team.

Let me make one thing clear. Mac Jones isn’t a Super Bowl-caliber quarterback. He’s not elite in any metric. As it’s looking right now, he’ll never be the guy that helps the Patriots win the AFC East. That said, they don’t seem to need that. New England only needs a stout defense, good offensive line play, and a group of running backs capable of methodically pushing the ball downfield. Guess what? The Pats have all of the above.

All New England needs is for their defense to keep it in the game, and that’s been the case all season. The only games where it hasn’t been the case were against the Bears and the Ravens. We’ll get to those in a second. New England has arguably the strongest defense in the league, and it’s been able to hold teams like the Jets to 20 points total in two games, the same amount the Jets scored in their lone game against Buffalo, widely considered one of the best defenses in the NFL. The Patriots did this all while not taking the Jets’ offense seriously. Head coach Bill Belichick even admitted to looking past the Jets and onto the Vikings ahead of their Week 11 matchup, and keep in mind, the Jets were ahead of the Patriots in the standings prior to this contest.

Now, where the Pats seem to struggle is against mobile quarterbacks. They’ve only had two games this year where opponents have scored more than 25 in regulation, the aforementioned Ravens and Bears. Both games saw the opposing quarterbacks rush for 107 and 82 yards respectively. New England is incredible at shutting down a passing game. In fact, the Pats are allowing the fourth-fewest passing yards per game and the second-lowest passer rating of any defense in the league, but struggle to contain the quarterback once he’s outside the pocket. I want to emphasize too, it’s not that these quarterbacks are beating them through the air once they get outside the pocket. Baltimore’s Lamar Jackson ranks 14th in passer rating outside the pocket. Justin Fields ranks 31st. Neither has been incredibly effective in that scenario. It’s their legs.

The Patriots’ combination of high blitz rate (28 percent, which is 12th-highest in the NFL) and elite coverage makes them very sack-happy (36, second-most in the NFL). They also have the highest QB hurry percentage in the NFL (14.8 percent) and the second-highest pressure rate (29.8 percent). However, these tendencies also leave a lot of room open ahead of the line of scrimmage, and any elusive quarterback that can evade the pressure will have lots of room to run. That makes guys like Lamar Jackson, Justin Fields, Jalen Hurts, Josh Allen, and maybe Patrick Mahomes all the more dangerous against New England. At the same time though, it makes guys who fold under pressure like Kirk Cousins (lowest passer rating under pressure in NFL among qualified QBs) look like they’re seeing ghosts. That’s why I’m taking the Patriots in a landslide this Thanksgiving by the way.

Because of this, the Patriots actually have a very good matchup against a few of the AFC’s top contenders: Cincinnati, Tennessee, Miami (although they lost to them in Week 1, I feel New England has improved since then), and Los Angeles. Those are all teams the Patriots could see in the playoffs. It’s just as likely that New England faces Buffalo, Kansas City, or Baltimore and gets bounced in the Wild Card Round, but if the cards fall right, they could do some serious damage.

The remainder of the Patriots’ schedule isn’t easy with two games left against Buffalo and matchups with Cincinnati, Minnesota, and Miami still on the horizon. Those will be benchmark games to determine the Pats’ viability in the postseason. It’s clear that if the Patriots want any chance of doing damage come mid-January, the offense will have to show signs of life. That said, there’s plenty of reason to be optimistic. If they’re looking solid right now with Mac Jones playing some of the worst football of his life, they can absolutely be contenders if Jones gains a little confidence down the final stretch of the regular season.

Saudi Arabia manager Herve Renard might be the most handsome manager at this tournament, and he certainly didn’t have a problem taking a page from another handsome manager, Jose Mourinho. If you recall the cold war that Barcelona and Real Madrid had when Mourinho was at the helm at the Bernabeu, the way they played Leo Messi’s Barca was the exact same way Saudi Arabia went about containing his Argentina team. They played in a midblock, with the defense pushed seemingly suicidally high with the forwards only about 10-15 yards ahead of them in the middle of the field. If the fear is that Messi will get too much space between your midfield and defense to dribble or weave passes, then shrinking the size of that down to a crawl space is one way to keep that from happening.

It carries huge risk, which Argentina was only about one-eighth of an inch from exploiting and ending this as a contest barely into the first half. But hey, I’m a Liverpool supporter, so I’m not allowed to complain or criticize a team for using an offside trap near the halfway line as a tactical plan rather than luck.

We mentioned that Saudi Arabia’s one advantage in this tournament was that most of the team plays for the same club in Saudi Arabia (Al Hilal), and they stopped their league season weeks ago to allow for more training time for the national team. Three of the back four for Saudi Arabia play together there, which means they’re more likely to have the chemistry and understanding to spring that trap than teams that got together on Monday.

Now, it’s easy to say that Saudi Arabia had it perfectly humming thanks to getting three goals wiped off the board due to Argentina being offside in the first half alone. And Argentina didn’t need to be so impatient to get in behind. But is this just the absolute hilt of defensive cohesion or is this just blind luck?

If you mean to tell me that Saudi Arabia’s defense is so well-tuned that they can plan to catch Lautaro Martinez off by the length of his sleeve cuff…that sounds a bit like a crypto sales pitch. But they did, so good on them, and they don’t ask how.

The other thing to note is that the xG count was 2.26-0.15 in Argentina’s favor. Here’s another xG score from this tournament — 2.11-1.75. That’s England-Iran. England’s finishing was just that good. So the story will be how excellent Saudi Arabia’s plan was, but play that exact game again (perhaps without semi-automatic offside reviews) and Argentina might (or probably will) win 3-1 or so. So sure, the tight defensive shape that Saudi Arabia featured in the first half kept Argentina at bay other than a Messi penalty, but by design or divine intervention?

But that said, it was this game that they played, not a theoretical one, and Saudi Arabia had two shots, buried both of them, And then with something to defend, they only had to funnel Argentina to the outside and clear a host of crosses, Which just about any team can do at this level. And they did valiantly, so fair play to them. Argentina showing a lack of invention in the second half helped their cause, that’s for sure.

It’s certainly a hallmark result, and given how balloon-handed both Mexico and Poland looked, they’ll fancy getting another point or two to go through. Especially as they’re playing at home, essentially.

Denmark 0-0 Tunisia

This wasn’t the kind of 0-0 draw that makes you question what you’ve done with your life, mostly thanks to the presence of Tunisia midfielder Aïssa Laidouni. Sometimes there’s a player you watch and you ask yourself, “Did the trainers put cayenne pepper on that dude’s jock?” Laidouni seemingly covered more ground than the other 19 outfield players combined. He was a defensive midfielder, box-to-box, No. 10, No. 6, No. whatever, No. everything. The stats say he only had two tackles and eight ball recoveries, but watching the match you’d have sworn he had 112 of each.

Laidouni set the pace for Tunisia, who perhaps unexpectedly pressed Denmark all over the field. The worry about the Danes is that they just don’t have that major weapon up front, and especially don’t have one with pace. Christian Eriksen is a lot of things but quick isn’t one of them either, and he was hassled before he ever had a chance to get his head up to pick a killer pass. Tunisia didn’t really fear anyone getting behind them, and they didn’t have to.

Mexico 0-0 Poland

Now this was the 0-0 draw that makes you wonder if, when you arrive at the Gates of St. Peter, he isn’t going to list out all the time you wasted watching matches like this. I’ve seen enough Poland matches in qualifying for various tournaments, and seen some of their players play for some of the biggest and best clubs in the world, to know that there should be something to them. They keep qualifying for tournaments, after all. And yet every time they show up to a World Cup or European Championship, it looks like they’ve lost all feeling in their feet and were only told the rules yesterday.

They even somehow were the recipients of a penalty thanks to FIFA’s insistence on proving that VAR is worth the time (more on this in a bit), and Robert Lewandowski, only one of the greatest strikers of all time, couldn’t bury it. This is Poland on the big stage.

Mexico at least looked like they were trying harder to score than their opponents, which is about the lowest bar to clear, but they also never looked like they might actually do so. This is about as blunt of a Mexican side as there’s been in a long time. And seeing as how their next match is against what should be a pissed-off Argentina team…well, have fun with that.

France 4-1 Australia

“You’re only going to get more wrath.”

That’s apparently how France felt after Australia opened the scoring, because instead of freezing like Argentina had earlier in the day, they proceeded to tear the Socceroos about four new assholes. Ousmane Dembélé and Kylian Mbappé were unplayable on the wings, which only gave Antoine Griezmann more space in the middle, and this is what you get when that happens. And Olivier Giroud continues to do nothing more than just score big goals and knit an attack together.

There was one moment in the first half where Dembélé knocked a ball past Aussie left-back Aziz Behich, with Behich having about a 10-yard head start to get back to the ball. Dembélé won that race by about two or three yards. This was an absolute mauling all over the field. The worry about France isn’t the first 11, as put on display today. The worry is that when they have to dig past that first 11, which they will later. For now, they looked incredible.

Goal of the day

All of France’s goals were basically team-worked art, but we have to choose the one that will live in history, Saudi Arabia’s Salem Al-Dawsari’s thunderbastard that was the winner against Argentina in the biggest upset at the World Cup in at least 32 years.

OK, yeah, there’s defending from four Argentines there that looks like they’re all in detention, but what a hit. You know you’ve got all of it when the keeper can get a hand to it and all that does is soften the landing into the net.

Did VAR fuck anything up?

Sorta? The Martinez offside is the correct call, but man does it seem picky. Worse yet, the semi-automatic graphic that was supposed to speed reviews up and make things clear for everyone isn’t shown to the fans until minutes later after the decision. If fans could see it processing the call live, it would help greatly. Otherwise, it gets into the whole “show us your balls” when people question the validity of any draft lottery and we only see envelopes. Show the math.

In Mexico-Poland, by definition, a shirt-tug in the box is a penalty. But did this rise to the level of obvious error? The ref on the field didn’t think it was a penalty, though the shirt tug may have been out of his line of sight. Again, that bar is being decided by just another referee, who is going to have his/her own definition of what’s a mistake and what isn’t. Justice may have been done with Memo Ochoa’s save on the penalty anyway, which did provide us all this:

Did Qatar fuck anything up?

Day ending in -y and all that. The day started with news that Wales fans were not allowed to wear rainbow bucket hats to their match against the US yesterday, yet another example of Qatar inviting the world to their party and then complaining that everyone came to the party. Also complaining that gay people exist.

Other than that, there were more shenanigans about how the tournament is going with the announced crowd of the Argentina-Saudi Arabia match being 88,000 when the stadium holds 80,000. And we could all see some empty sections in the corners.

Oh, this too:

Yes, person near the Qatari officials, we’re also wondering why you bothered.

Did Alexi Lalas say anything dumb?

Seems like he farmed that duty out to Ian Darke and Landon Donovan, though only by accident. As the news came across that Manchester United were terminating Cristiano Ronaldo’s contract, they had this exchange:

Darke: “Ronaldo’s contract will be terminated by mutual consent.”

Donovan: “Is there ever mutual consent?”

No Landon, not with Ronaldo there isn’t.

It’s time to check in on the teams that can’t get out of their own way. We’re halfway through the 2022 NFL season, and much of it has been unpredictable, but there are always a few teams we expect to disappoint their fanbases. Now let’s get into the powerless ranking for Week 11.

Teams on the doorstep: Chicago Bears (3-8), Arizona Cardinals (4-7), Pittsburgh Steelers (3-7), Jacksonville Jaguars (3-7), Denver Broncos (3-7)

There’s an old hockey axiom that any young defenseman needs 200 games in the NHL to come into his own. Unlike most of the sport’s theories, which are usually grizzled old horseshit that everyone has just gone along with out of terror for ever rocking the boat in any way, it holds some water. It’s a hard job, and it takes time to adjust to the NHL’s speed coming at you instead of just matching it as forwards do. Maintaining the right gaps, moving the puck or yourself under the pressure of men with jobs instead of kids with no direction, and finding passing and shooting windows that close in a heartbeat just take some time to get to terms with.

Unless you’re Cale Makar.

Makar last night became the first D-man in NHL history — that’s some 105 years — to score 200 points in fewer than his first 200 games (195 for those keeping count). Bobby Orr didn’t do it. Paul Coffey didn’t do it when every goalie was a hungover gnome. Ray Bourque didn’t do it. Makar has hit the ground running, or ice skating as it were, faster and better than just about anyone in the game’s history.

Sure, coaching at the youth level and higher is assuredly better than what it was 20 or 30 years ago. Makar was probably introduced to various training methods, weights, nutrition, and the like, far quicker than any of the names he will walk with one day in the Hockey Hall of Fame. Bourque’s, Orr’s, and Coffey’s training methods probably involved bringing the keg back into the coach’s house. On the flip side, the NHL game has never been faster. It should be even harder for a teenager to walk into the league and be effective, much less thrive, much less dominate.

And yet the game speeds up with Makar on the ice. Every team is looking for their own Makar now, a D-man who is a one-man rush and trap-buster. One who links the offense back to the defensive zone in an instant. He quite simply has changed the game.

Or one who can do this whenever he pleases.

Rare is the player you know is among the greats from the moment they start. You may know, or strongly suspect, that a rookie or second-year player could grow into a legend, if things go right. You wait for the dips, the learning curves, no matter how much you expect that player to overcome those and then burst out. “When he puts it all together.”

But there are some who are fully assembled as soon as they arrive, and Makar is one of the very few. He showed up in the middle of the 2019 playoffs and immediately looked like the best player on the ice. Makar began weaving in and out of traffic in all three zones, opening up lanes in the offensive zone with his unseen agility, and creating chaos around the net with a wrister that always seems to get through to the crease no matter the tightness of the window to shoot through. There was little question that he was something truly different.

Makar’s metrics are down a bit this season, though still glittering, as the Avs have had to use him more in the defensive zone more than they have before. The percentage of his shifts that start in the offensive zone so far this season is down seven percent, and his defensive zone shifts are up the same. Hasn’t really stopped him from flipping the ice.

Bellingham’s Palace

Makar wasn’t the only alien on display yesterday accomplishing something on the fields where people play yesterday. England’s Jude Bellingham became the second teenager ever to score for England in a World Cup, and when he wasn’t doing that he was simply dominating the game from all parts. Midfield is supposed to be just as hard to learn as defense is in hockey, and it has more facets. And yet Bellingham has already mastered them all at just 19. He can shield a defense, he can pass from deep to release forwards, he can be the late man in the box to score, whatever. And he did it all against Iran.

A goal for you.

Or maybe you need him releasing a perfect through ball on the stretch to set up England’s last goal.

Bellingham’s price tag seemingly goes up every week, and turning over opponents in the World Cup will only expedite that process. He’s been so good from jump street that his first club, Birmingham City, retired his number at the age of 17, when he left for Dortmund.

It’s rare that historic greatness slaps you about the face the first time you see it, but yesterday was one of those days where you can’t miss it.

Devilish

Let’s cap things off with Tomas Tatar’s goal to seal the New Jersey Devils’ 13th win in a row:

It’s not often in hockey a player gets to try the Ichiro, chipping the puck over the goalie with the puck in midair. Tatar even shortened up like there were two strikes. Except he did it on skates.

It has been a while since Jimmy Garoppolo threw four touchdown passes in a single game. The last time was Dec. 8, 2019. That day, Garoppolo went toe to toe with Drew Brees, and won 48-46 at the Superdome. That was the game that changed the minds of many who did not believe that Garoppolo could lead the 49ers to a sixth Super Bowl Championship.

Last night, at Estadio Azteca in Mexico City, Jimmy G tossed four touchdowns in a far less compelling game. The 49ers went into halftime up 17-10 against the short-handed Arizona Cardinals. By the 10-minute mark of the fourth quarter, the Cardinals pulled second-stringer — last night’s starter due to injury — Colt McCoy, and San Francisco returned the favor by telling Garoppolo to keep his baseball cap on for the rest of the game as it went on to win the game 38-10.

With eight games remaining in the regular season, the 49ers have assumed first place in the NFC West. Hopefully, for NFL viewers, the margin in that division between first and second place will be close enough that the San Fran and Seattle Seahawks rivalry from the previous decade will be reignited at Lumen Field on Dec. 15.

Even if the 49ers prevail during the most important Thursday Night Football matchup of this season, that likely won’t be enough to remove the one dark cloud hanging over the team. Can Garoppolo win it all?

Football is the most team of team sports, so Garoppolo is far from alone on the field. In fact, the offense that he is leading is more talented than the one he guided to a home NFC Championship Game and Super Bowl appearance during the 2019 season.

Deebo Samuel was a rookie then, and now he has fully established himself as one of the NFL’s top offensive weapons. Instead of a 32-year-old Emmanuel Sanders, this season the 49ers have 24-year-old Brandon Aiyuk as their other top wideout. The backfield is lethal with Christian McCaffrey and Elijah Mitchell. On defense, Fred Warner, Nick Bosa, Talona Hufanga, and company, have carried on the smashmouth ways that have defined the franchise over the last 10 seasons.

Yet, even with those four touchdown passes, Garoppolo did not look like the player he was in 2019. He threaded the needle to Aiyuk on that first touchdown pass, but the other three were accomplished mostly by the YAC talents of the 49ers’ pass catchers.

Kittle did the same thing on Monday night that he did to the Saints defenders in 2019. He shook them off of his body like a chill, while on his way to the endzone. Aiyuk’s second touchdown catch required a skillful run, and Samuel’s only score of the day was a rushing touchdown on an end-around.

Against the Saints, Garoppolo held defenders with his eyes, and made a few tight throws in the middle of the field. It was enough to make some critical NFL analysts refuse to find fault with him that day. However, it’s not like he was throwing 17-yard darts up the seam, or launching moon balls 50 yards down the field to a pass catcher in stride. On a 75-yard touchdown pass, it was Sanders who turned that 50/50 ball into a score. Kittle’s game-winner was all about his effort after the catch.

Against the Cardinals, Garoppolo threw for only 229 yards, as opposed to the 349 he dropped on Drew Brees’ Saints in the waning months of a pre-pandemic America. He kept last night’s passes much shorter and sweeter, averaging just under eight yards per attempt as opposed to nearly 10 that Sunday in New Orleans.

The 49ers, as a team, looked like they’re the evil troll that the rest of the NFC will have to get past come playoff time, but at no point did Garoppolo show any special playmaking that is different from the player he has been. The player whose NFC Championship performance last season, was supposed to be his last one in a 49ers’ uniform.

He and the 49ers are stuck with each other for however long this season lasts. If they want a title, and Garoppolo wants his contract offers to look better come spring 2023, he will have to find a way to reach another level, even if it’s only temporary. If not, these eight touchdowns across three seasons will end up being the highlight of his career.

Olivia Pichardo is no stranger to baseball, having applied her trade on diamonds around New York from a young age. A dream that started as a young girl in Queens has just become a reality, reaching another milestone for women in sports. Pichardo will be the first female to play Division I baseball, as she has made Brown’s roster for the 2023 season. A Bears’ release states around 20 females have played college baseball but none have been at the D-I level.

The 18-year-old Pichardo took part in Brown’s walk-on tryouts that lasted weeks this fall. The release said Pichardo was “elated, albeit in shock” when she found out she officially made the Bears’ roster for the upcoming season that starts in February.

“It was definitely a surreal moment for me because it’s something that I’ve wanted since eighth grade,” Pichardo said in a news release. “It’s kind of crazy to know that I’m living out my dream right now and my ideal college experience that I’ve always wanted, so that’s really cool.”

Pichardo showed her skills as a middle infielder, outfielder, and pitcher during tryouts, impressing Brown head baseball coach Grant Achilles with her athleticism, strength, and versatility. She’ll be on the 31-player roster as a utility player next year, where she can play in the outfield or infield.

“Every fall, we hold tryouts for students interested in joining our team,” said Achilles via news release. “It’s a workout common for baseball and allows us to evaluate athleticism and arm strength, as well as both offensive and defensive skills. Olivia put together the most complete walk-on tryout I have seen from a player since becoming a head coach.”

Late Monday night, the sports director for WCBI News in Mississippi, Jon Sokoloff, detonated a grenade in the college football carousel by reporting that Ole Miss coach Lane Kiffin would be accepting Auburn’s head coaching job. Sokoloff’s tweet specifically stated that Kiffin’s being named Auburn coach was imminent and that he would step down on Friday after Thursday’s Egg Bowl clash against Mississippi State.

Kiffin later tweeted out a printout of a typed report that attempted to turn the tables by insinuating Sokoloff was leaving his station for WLOX. Kiffin being outed as the next Auburn coach ahead of the Egg Bowl would have made things untenable for Kiffin, which explains why he would mock the report.

Interestingly, his ridiculing of Sokoloff isn’t an outright denial. He didn’t even try to say Sokoloff was wrong. A year ago, Lincoln Riley adamantly insisted he “was not going to be the next head coach at LSU.” Riley could be awarded points for honesty, and demerits for giving a misleading statement. Lane Kiffin better not be leaving Ole Miss now because he’s dug himself into an even deeper hole when he probably should have tamped down the rumor mill.

The veracity of Sokoloff’s tip is still up in the air, but we won’t have a definite answer until Auburn names Kiffin, interim coach Cadillac Williams, or someone else as its next head coach. However, Sokoloff has credibility as an information broker. On Oct. 29, he reported that Mississippi State athletic director John Cohen would fill the AD vacancy at Auburn days before his hiring was announced. Clearly, there’s smoke, and Sokoloff’s information pipeline is solid.

However, Kiffin is a master gaslighter. Kiffin’s corny tweets didn’t even calm the rumors. If anything, his focus was on being as edgy as possible. He’s one of the most online coaches in college football and he thrives on Elon Musk’s Twitter. Prior to Sokoloff kicking up Auburn rumors, Kiffin made sure to let everyone know that he was focused on preparing for the Egg Bowl, not on the Auburn opening.

Kiffin’s mocking tone in his tweets clarifies the appeal he has with recruits. When you realize he’s spiritually a teen still, everything makes sense. The trolling, the Twitter hijinks, the immaturity. He’s the coach who doubles as your friend whereas Kelly or Nick Saban emanates stern dad energy.

Ole Miss also denied Sokoloff’s report, which hopefully doesn’t mean that they’re also oblivious to who their coach is. Kiffin and his run-heavy offensive attack have been a success at Ole Miss. Prior to their consecutive defeats in the month of November, the Rebels were a top-10-ranked program. Ole Miss will hold onto Kiffin as long as it possibly can, but the end of the Kiffin era is probably drawing near and the Rebels sound like they’re in denial.

We met Kiffin when he became the head coach of the Oakland Raiders at the age of 31 in 2010. He left Oakland in tumult. Then, Kiffin departed Tennessee in a maelstrom for USC and was abandoned on the tarmac at Los Angeles International Airport by Trojans Athletic Director Pat Haden. The night Kiffin abandoned his last SEC job at Tennessee, fans rioted outside the complex where his resignation press conference was to be held. Avoiding a shitstorm this time around is probably worth keeping the facade up for a few more days.