There may have been more exciting games or more dramatic endings in this tournament, but there hasn’t been one with more intrigue combined with a higher quality of play than this one. Argentina was staring at the abyss, much like Germany was today, giving the game something of a snuff-film air, and yet they were ass-tastic until Lionel Messi pulled them out of the fire. Germany mostly rose to the occasion of saving themselves, at least for a few days, though still needed to wait until the very end to hear the governor’s call.

Germany tweaked their lineup a bit to match up directly with Spain in this one, subtracting Kai Havertz from the frontline to insert Leon Goretzka into midfield to essentially mirror Spain’s 4-3-3 by having Goretzka and Joshua Kimmich paired up with Pedri and Gavi. It left Thomas Müller on his own up front, which left Germany a little toothless after all their good work with the ball. And the way to really get at Spain might be to try and overload the aged Sergio Busquets at the base of their midfield and the out-of-position Rodri behind him. But it would take quite the set of tires to do that with a team’s World Cup fate in the balance.

What we got was two teams trying to press and work through each other in the same way, with both teams’ fullbacks charging way high up the field to try and win possession and keep each other’s wide forwards pinned. While Spain had more of the ball, and played the whole match knowing that A. they still had Costa Rica left on the schedule and B. their +7 goal-difference is going to get them out of most any qualification jams, both teams looked fluid and dangerous. Gavi and Pedri play the game as if they can also see the TV view that you and I have and can make the plays and passes that we call out for given our bird’s eye view. Jamal Musiala continued to weave through defenders at a whim. It was the most Hagler-Hearns game we’ve had, with two top quality teams unafraid to hurl punches at each other and worry about the counter punch another time.

Spain opened the scoring thanks to Jordi Alba, who should be far too old to still shotgun his way up and down the sideline and set up goals in the same fashion he was 10 years ago, put it on a platter for Alvaro Morata to cheekily finish with the outside of his foot. Germany had to go for broke after that, and got their reward when Niclas Füllkrug was able to benefit from Musiala busting through the Spain defense, nicking the ball off him to finish into the roof of the net.

Füllberg is a great story, as he was playing in the second division last season and wouldn’t be on the team if Timo Werner hadn’t gotten hurt. He’s banged in 10 goals for Werder Bremen this season, and this was only his third ever appearance for his country at 29. Germany manager Hans Flick must’ve figured that at worst if they needed a goal and could get Fullkrug in the same spots he’s been getting to for Werder he might do the same thing he’s been doing for Werder. Take notes, Haji Wright.

The game did lack a big number of chances and shots, partly due to both Germany’s and Spain’s lack of sharp end at the top of the field and partly due to the furious pressing and marking both teams inflicted on each other. Neither could find the final pass or cross until the second half. But the quality on display was the highest we’ve seen.

Other results: Japan 0 – 1 Costa Rica

This is what happens when you let Japan just have the ball. They don’t really create much without the added wind of the space they find on counterattacks, and even if they can create a chance they don’t have anyone dependable to finish for them. Japan had 57 percent of the ball against the Ticos, and yet managed just three shots on target. Fair credit to Costa Rica, who actually looked bothered this time, unlike in their ass-stomping from Spain.

And they got a little luck, as Keysher Fuller’s finish acted a bit like a change-up, completely bamboozling Shuichi Gonda in net as he jumps just a bit too early and didn’t get full hands on it:

Both of these results set up the group to be Group Chaos come Thursday, as all four teams can go through.

Belgium 0 – 2 Morocco

Now here’s a team that doesn’t give a shit. In the latest installment in why Roberto Martinez is a blithering idiot, it appeared that today he sent out his Belgium side to at least attack in a 4-2-3-1, but with Kevin De Bruyne wide on the right of the attack. Which is great if all you want him to do is hit crosses, but he happens to be the best midfielder in the world for a host of other reasons and abilities. It also forces the attack to hinge on Eden Hazard in the middle, who is both cooked and out of shape and practice thanks to not having played regularly in three seasons. De Bruyne is effective when getting three or four runners ahead of him at City. Belgium essentially gave him one, and that’s Michy Batshuayi, which as everyone knows isn’t an answer at all. No wonder Belgium looked so utterly without spark or verve.

And if Martinez isn’t going to get his formations or tactics right, then his job should be about creating a harmony or energy within the team that carries over that and lets the talent on the team (admittedly old talent) go on display. Belgium slogged through this match with all the spice of a trip to their boss’s son’s bar mitzvah. Morocco didn’t really have to work all that hard to keep the Belgians at bay, nor to look threatening when attacking at pace. All it took was one Tibault Courois fuck-up and it was over.

Croatia 4 – 1 Canada

Nice stories don’t get results. Neither do analytic stats on their own. Yeah, Canada was better than Belgium in their opening game. Yes, they should have one, but their lack of finish is also their responsibility. They don’t have to worry about either of those things now, because today they did find a way to finish, as Alphonso Davies finally scored their first ever World Cup goal just three minutes in. And then they got their ass thoroughly kicked afterwards. 4-1 tells no lies as the 1-0 against Belgium did. No injustice from the soccer gods here.

Canada tried something similar to the US did against England, which is defensively setting up in a 4-4-2 to cut off the Croatian midfield from the defense and using their wide players to try and spring attacks against fullbacks that aren’t all that fast. Here’s the problem: The US midfield contains players that are very mobile and very energetic. The Canadian midfield contains Atiba Hutchinson, who is 39 and moves like an ice float (and Canada should consider putting him on one after this match). When any of the Croatian midfield wanted to drop a little deeper to get the ball, he couldn’t follow. Or when they wanted to dribble by him, they did it while facing barely toilet paper level resistance. So even after going behind, Croatia strutted to a 2-1 halftime lead thanks to their midfield’s dominance and ease they could find killer passes. To wit:

Canada attempted to switch to a 3-5-2 at halftime, but with Hutchinson still out there Modric, Kovacic, and Brozovic still had the run of the place, and Canada was lucky they didn’t rack up more than two goals. So Canada’s World Cup is already over, their plucky underdog story vanquished before we even had time to care. But don’t worry, it didn’t keep their journalists from acting smug:

He’s not mad guys, really.

Goal of the day

Not the cleanest strike but given how late and how dramatic, has to be Fuller’s goal to give Costa Rica all three points.

Did VAR fuck anything up?

Dodged that today, and actually the rapidity with which Antonio Rüdiger’s goal for Germany in the first half was ruled out for offside was a demonstration of how the system is supposed to work.

Did Alexi Lalas say anything stupid?

Ducked that too, As they say, even God rests on Sunday. 

Apparently Ja Rule was called for advice on how to set up a college basketball tournament, because just like Fyre Fest, this Thanksgiving tournament was not all what it was advertised to be.

The Las Vegas Invitational featured a top-10 women’s basketball program in sixth-ranked Indiana. The Hoosiers played against Auburn in a ballroom at the Mirage Hotel and Casino. From the pictures, it looked like a YMCA game masquerading as a major college basketball contest.

According to the Big Ten Network’s Megan McKeown, players were advised to bring towels to the game from their hotel rooms because the tournament didn’t provide any for the players. There were no bleachers around the court. Spectators watched the game in folding chairs that surrounded the court.

During the game an Auburn player took a hard fall and, according to Auburn’s radio broadcast, it took 40 minutes for medical personnel to arrive at the scene, and the game was delayed for close to an hour. ESPN’s M.A. Vogel reported that one of the site coordinators apologized to all of the participants and fans for how poorly the tournament was organized. Bryce McKey was the tournament organizer, but was not in Las Vegas over the weekend for the event.

The tournament was sold to Indiana by claiming that it would be similar to the Athlete’s Unlimited professional league set up. That one was played at a convention center and it went fairly well. The Las Vegas Invitational was horrendous. The only similarity is that the same court was used.

Indiana and Auburn should pursue legal action against McKey and all involved in putting together this sham of a basketball tournament. This was not a major Division I sporting event. The tournament organizers placed a court, some hoops, and some balls in a hotel ballroom and called it a college basketball game. These types of accommodations wouldn’t fly for a high school basketball game. Hell, even middle school games have bleachers.

Instead of spending a holiday with their families, these women flew across the country to participate in an event that was put together with a glue stick and scotch tape. Not only was it a waste of time, it actually put the participants in danger. Fortunately the Auburn player wasn’t seriously hurt, but that doesn’t make 40 minutes for medical care to arrive for a player who suffered a head injury excusable.

These women’s time and well being was not valued, and it should cost the tournament providers something. There is no way that they should be allowed to profit from bringing Fyre Fest to college athletics.

Nothing but the worst should be expected from the Washington Commanders with whatever they do. Daniel Snyder’s organization has proven this true for quite a while now. Sunday morning, at FedEx Field, they just emphasized that sentiment when they unveiled a “tribute” to former safety Sean Taylor.

The life-size (wire) figurine was supposed to be an offering to honor Taylor on the 15th anniversary of his death in 2007. This whole ceremony looks like something thrown together at the last minute. That’s evident in the organization that put up the uniformed mannequin representing Taylor. A Nike jersey, although Reebok was the sponsor during Taylor’s time with the team. The team has access to his photos or just google Taylor’s images. It’s that easy. Then the mannequin is wearing Reebok pants and Adidas cleats. Let’s get some coordination here.

Many fans expected some type of statue. That’s the first issue most Washington faithful had with the memorial. The dramatic reveal got a standing ovation until the crowd in attendance realized what they’d just taken part in. Washington and the Snyders ruined this memorial for Taylor like they do everything else they’ve touched since 1999.

Washington fumbling this memorial is exactly what fans should’ve expected. But of course, fans always hope for the best when it comes to their teams and especially involving beloved players. The Snyder family couldn’t even give fans that. It’s bad enough the Commanders haven’t been able to advance past the wildcard playoff round since Taylor was playing for the team, and even those playoff appearances have been few and far between.

Snyder needs to sell this team pronto, and the NFL needs to do whatever it can to help move this transaction along as quickly as possible. This was supposed to be easy, and Washington bungled it with their foolishness. You’d think with all the allegations of sexual harassment and toxic culture within the organization (which Snyder has denied) and the team sucking on the field for so long, they’d want to get something like this right. This should’ve been a slam dunk, but instead, it’ll be added to the Washington Commanders blooper reel of Dan Snyder’s tenure as owner. 

For those of us that had the initial burst of hope when Triple H took over creative for WWE, the status of the company after last night’s Survivor Series: War Games PPV PLE was about as sobering as seeing flashing lights in your rearview at 3 a.m. The company has one champ that puts on great matches… six times a year. They have tag champs who have no tag teams to wrestle. They took Raw’s top title off of Seth Rollins, who’s magic, to put it on Austin Fucking Theory. If it weren’t for Sami Zayn and Bianca Belair, New York might currently be as desolate as the most barren stretch under Vince McMahon.

The unquestioned nadir of last night’s PLE, which otherwise was very good, was Ronda Rousey doing whatever it is she does against Shotzi in a defense of her SmackDown women’s title. You’d think it would have been a clue to what her coworkers and fans think of Rousey’s ability that the company’s greatest talent on the women’s side, and possibly overall, Sasha Banks, preferred to quit the company altogether rather than work with Rousey and put her over. Last night was more evidence as to why.

It’s hard to know what exactly Rousey is trying to do, or what the company wants out of her other than getting to use her name recognition (and that’s it entirely). Rousey has basically sleep-walked through every match since she reappeared at the Royal Rumble last January, and yet keeps being pushed at the top of the roster. Almost certainly just to cash in on the fact that people have heard the name.

The problem lies in that Ronda can’t… really… do… anything. She should probably just be having a string of squash matches to establish her as an unbeatable force. But her moveset isn’t varied or imposing enough to make that work. Yet another judo throw isn’t really doing it for anyone. And if you’re going to squash everyone in three minutes, you’d better have something else going for you. You’d better exude charisma like, say, Jade Cargill. Ronda exudes all the charisma of a saltine (even if we leave out being an utterly wretched human being). Which is probably why she’s been paired with Shayna Baszler, who’s better than her in every category, to give her any sizzle at all. And while there’s always rough water to be found in comparing WWE to AEW wrestlers or vice versa, at least when Jade hits a pump kick or her finishing move, it looks really devastating. Rousey always looks like she’s completing the steps. And no, different varieties of Black Swan makeup isn’t enough.

But what other story can you tell with Ronda? If she’s not able to sell convincingly and not willing to take any medium-to-high spot from an opponent, there’s nowhere to go. Shotzi is not a top-level ring general but she’s a very good wrestler who has worked her way up from the indies and knows how to put on a couple different style matches. And last night’s match was a complete mess, mostly because this was the level of interest Rousey had in making Shotzi look good:

This was hardly the only bad moment, but it was the clear winner in the category. They obviously wanted to tell a story of Shtozi having to throw everything possible at Ronda in a hurry, given Rousey’s rep. Shotzi couldn’t slowly put anything together and leave an opening. But that doesn’t translate when Rousey is barely half-selling a throw into the ring-steps or avoiding taking any sort of bump and is only focused on trash talking to the live crowd who had mostly left their seats to get a beer. Rousey’s meandering through any part of the match that involved Shotzi’s offense doesn’t make her look good, it certainly doesn’t make Shotzi look good, and what does anyone get out of this?

So if she doesn’t have the personality to just be a squash machine, nor the skill or inclination to actually craft a match that tells a different story, what is it she would say she does here?

Rousey will still get a big time match at Mania, and probably at the Rumble too. And it’ll be Charlotte or Becky Lynch, or maybe even a returning Banks. All three of those women are talented enough to drag Rousey into a good and watchable match, which is the only way she’ll get there. And they may be the only three who can. Belair still might be a little on the inexperienced side to have to call and drag a less-talented opponent to greatness, though it won’t be that way for long.

Yes, Rousey isn’t for wrestling fans. She isn’t for most of those in the arena. She’s for people watching at home who remember her MMA career but forget it went to shit just as soon as it got challenging for her, much like her WWE career. That will always be a part of WWE’s calculations, no matter how infuriating it might be.

But the least they could do is ask Rousey to actually try. She could be helping other women on the roster to look better. Shotzi could have come out of a match last night looking like a threat in the future (she’s certainly got the personality). They had to reinvent Liv Morgan after her feud with Rousey to undo the damage done by being put next to her, and Morgan had about as much momentum heading into the feud as possible. No one looks better after working with Rousey, and neither does Rousey.

As stated earlier, the rest of the show was good to very good. The two War Games matches were most certainly the latter, with the men’s match being used to vault the company’s hottest story — Sami Zayn and his relationship with the Bloodline — to a new level. If they weren’t so fixated on getting The Rock back into the ring for Mania, a Sami turn and Zayn-Roman main event in LA is absolutely worthy of the stage now. The women’s War Games wasn’t as heavy on long-term storytelling, but a great platform for Lynch’s return while giving all 10 women a chance to shine at various points (and let’s get to Iyo-Asuka already). Even though Rollins dropped the US Title to Theory, making one wonder what exactly they’re going to do with Seth now, as there’s no higher title for him to chase with Roman’s road so clearly set for the next six months, he orchestrated an excellent triple threat along with Bobby Lashley.

And of course there was the latest chapter in the very large book, “Wait, has there ever actually been a really good Finn Balor match?”

It’s just disheartening that on the same show you can have an example of how really putting time into talented guys who genuinely care like Zayn, hardly an artist’s rendering of the company’s biggest star, can produce some of the best storytelling the company’s seen in years. And also someone putting in no effort like Rousey, getting by on people pointing at a TV screen, to produce a dry heave simply because. 

It’s a comedic style we’ve seen in Hollywood plenty over the years. The fish-out-of-water mentality. Pluck the main character from their established world and place them into a weird situation where any semblance of normality is gone. Legally Blonde nails it. So does The Jerk. My favorite of that genre is Coming To America, the Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall classic, where Murphy plays an African prince looking for true love away from his kingdom in Queens, New York. There are hookers and criminals too. But Murphy never loses his journey as a fish out of water.

If there’s smoke where there’s fire, and in college football, smoke usually means an inferno within hours, Deion Sanders will be trading out the SWAC for the Pac-12, the FCS for a Power Five Conference school. Colorado has offered Sanders its head-coaching job, per the Athletic, with both sides having a vested interest in making this unique marriage a reality. Prime Time was never going to be at Jackson State long-term. His bombastic nature, combined with gains in NIL and recruiting, with a dash of on-field accomplishments, made Sanders the most intriguing head-coaching candidate in college football this millennium. But Colorado? A team that’s been in gridiron purgatory for most of the last two decades?

I thought Auburn would’ve loved to hand its program to Sanders, instead, it looks like Hugh Freeze will go to The Plains. Nebraska went with Matt Rhule. Georgia Tech could’ve been a phenomenal fit. Instead, Sanders is headed to the Rockies. Not exactly the land of Maseratis and Dom Pérignon, but you can find the beauty in anything. His flashy nature makes Boulder so much more attractive in an area of the country where the recruiting ground is far from fertile. Persuading a top-level high schooler with Denver’s suburbs for four years isn’t a strong pitch. It’s all about the culture, and NIL money, that Sanders will cultivate.

Those who’ve paid better attention to HBCU programs than I have said it better than I could: Sanders was only using Jackson State as a stepping stone instead of truly digging himself in and setting up roots to help a program that won’t get the press he’s used to from the NFL and Florida State. He’s interviewed at South Florida, Colorado State, and TCU over the last few years, but this is the first track record of a long-established high-level program showering Sanders with interest. Barring a massive backtrack, he’ll be moving on, just as many expected him to do. Jumping from the SWAC to the FBS is rare and it’s unheard of to go to the Power Five level, especially after three years as a college coach. Jay Hopson, a white man, was the only HBCU head coach poached by an FBS school for the same position over the last 60 years, jumping from Alcorn State to Southern Miss. That divide between HBCU success and breaking into the highest levels of the sport is one reason why Sanders is unique. Hopefully, he’s not the last to buck the trend.

One underrated part of giving Sanders the keys to the kingdom is who he’ll bring with him to Boulder. Shedeur Sanders, Deion’s son, has looked great as Jackson State’s quarterback this season, passing for more than 3,000 yards and 32 touchdowns with only six interceptions. It’s hard to argue with winning, and the Sanders duo went 11-0 in the regular season. Travis Hunter, who Prime Time flipped from his alma mater to Jackson State, was the No. 1 overall recruit in the country last year. An athlete with that much potential at the Power Five level would be incredible. There’d also be fun and ridiculous speculation as to the staff he’d put together. Most college football fans don’t understand the inner workings of an FBS school and how important the 10 full-time assistant coach spots are. Sanders’ acquisitions going to Boulder may change that.

When Sanders didn’t publicly condemn the reporting of his move away from Jackson State, that’s as much of a confirmation as to his interests as you’ll get. Look at what Lane Kiffin did when he got heavily linked to the Auburn job earlier this week. The alleged academic and financial issues from Sanders’ now-closed Prime Prep Academy should be an obstacle for any Power Five Conference school to hire him. But why would grades and a little irresponsibility with money stop winning football games? It wouldn’t be the equivalent of hiring Will Wade or Jeremy Pruitt, not close. Sanders’ past isn’t squeaky clean too. That’s the package you get with him and to be fair, most high-level coaches have some baggage. You don’t get to the top without ruffling a lot of feathers along the way.

Sanders going to Colorado is the fish-out-of-water comedy that’d be appointment television every Saturday. Hearing whatever comes out of Boulder from press availabilities will spread like wildfire on social media. A program was going to bite on the boom-or-bust nature of hiring Sanders. Seeing as how Colorado has been one of the worst Power Five teams in the country in recent years, doing worse really isn’t an option. It could be the perfect storm for Sanders, or prove non-traditional candidates can’t cut it without more experience. I do imagine him peering out at Folsom Field saying “Good morning my neighbors!” I hope someone is there to respond “Hey, fuck you!” But why would you yell that at the new football coach? 

The annual pissing contest of the Big Ten’s only two good teams took place Saturday, and like last year, it was Michigan emphatically stomping Ohio State. Unlike a season ago, this was in Columbus, and despite what B1G commissioner Kevin Warren will tell you, this game was not an instant classic for anyone not wearing maize and blue.

The Wolverines took a 24-20 lead in the third quarter, extended it 31-20 early in the fourth, and it was a one-score game for all of 12 seconds from there on out. The 45-23 win featured the best game of quarterback in J.J. McCarthy’s career, and ditto for running back Donovan Edwards, who had 216 yards in the starring role with Blake Corum banged up.

Of the sophomore’s two bills on the ground, 160 came on two plays in the fourth quarter. The first, a 75-yard run, broke the game open, and the second, an 85-yard sprint, pushed it to three scores.

The Buckeye defense allowed 530 yards of total offense, giving up more than 250 both in the air and on the ground. Heisman candidate C.J. Stroud threw two fourth quarter interceptions, including a panicked underhand toss that was picked in the red zone. Hopefully he didn’t turn on the USC-Notre Dame game later in the day, as the Trojans looked impressive enough to steal OSU’s spot in the College Football Playoff, with Caleb Williams striking the Heisman pose and making a bid for the sport’s most distinguished individual award.

While I’d like to sit here and heap more praise on Big Blue, their fans are more than willing to pat themselves on the back, so I’ll let them enjoy the W short of removing a rib. What I’d like to point out is how fraudulent Ohio State and the Big Ten appear to be.

Jim Harbaugh’s team has one more hurdle left to return to the CFP, and it’s 8-4 Purdue, who made the conference title game because Iowa gagged against Nebraska. Penn State got 10 wins by pummeling the shitty teams, but was outscored 85-48 against OSU and U-M in their two losses. And they’re the only other top 25 team that the B1G has to offer. Michigan State and Mel Tucker didn’t qualify for a bowl game. The most impressive non-conference W in the entire Big Ten is Ohio State’s 21-10 win over Notre Dame.

Ohio State could not afford to get outclassed at home with TCU staying perfect and USC looking better against a Fighting Irish team that’s miles ahead of where it was Week 1 at the Horseshoe. Shit, had Stroud and Co. punched in a garbage time TD to make it seem like the stadium wasn’t sobbing for most of the final quarter, I could see an argument.

There will be no bigger Utah and Kansas State fans next Saturday than Buckeye faithful. And if they’re not, the only explanation is hubris.

A quick word on the ‘Let’s do away with divisions’ crowd

The Utes needed to win, Oregon to lose, Washington to win, and UCLA to win to come out on top of the confusing as hell tiebreaker for a trip to the Pac-12 title game. Whatever the three-way tie rules are, they weren’t on Oregon’s side.

This formula will in no way lead to outraged fans even though the Ducks beat the Utes this season.

It’ll be interesting to see if the day ever comes when the hiring of a new coach at Nebraska is met with a cavalier attitude. “Well, shit, why not him?” is only uttered when the university names a men’s basketball coach.

That’s why Matt Rhule is starting in a trailing position after accepting the position in Lincoln. He’s not a native son of Nebraska, nor is he a splashy candidate like Deion Sanders or Urban Meyer. Rhule is a perfectly modest hire by a very modest athletic director in Trev Alberts, yet the expectations are anything but modest. (He also had the right, umm, background that interim coach Mickey Joseph did not.)

In an interview with College Gameday on Saturday morning, Rhule rattled off all the reasons why he holds the position in such high regard. The tradition, the fans, the history. Whether it’s those reasons, or an eight-year contract, that persuaded him, I don’t know. What I do know is the reasons he listed also are why the task before him is tougher than what he faced at Temple, or Baylor, or even Carolina.

Rhule will have to win over an obsessive fanbase at their orneriest and most pessimistic. If the Huskers have a shitty inaugural season under his watch, it won’t go overlooked like the first years at Baylor or Temple when he won one and two games, respectively. While a rough 2023 wouldn’t be a complete surprise to the national media, given the team is coming off a four-win season following two three-win campaigns, it would be a story.

I don’t think Rhule realizes that in Nebraska, the Huskers are the only story. Every Sunday World-Herald in the fall has the game’s outcome front and center on the cover. Sports talk radio doubles as a safe space for fans to bemoan the state of the program and regurgitate easy fixes that have been tried and failed more or less since the beginning of the century. Small talk in grocery aisles begins and ends with what’s happening in Lincoln.

There is no place like Nebraska because most like NU have receded to the periphery of college football. It’s hard for programs with unrealistic goals to just be respectable. Look at Miami, Florida State, Texas, or Virginia Tech. They haven’t met fans’ standards in a long time, and the pressure to produce results leads to turnover.

And if Nebraska is No. 1 in any poll related to college football, it’s staff turnover. Rhule will be the sixth coach since Tom Osborne stepped down in 1997. That’s, what, a new multimillion dollar head man every five years? That’s not a blueprint for building a program, or maintaining a culture.

A new coach every handful of years is something you’d expect out of the Cleveland Browns or Detroit Lions, franchises that are widely considered trainwrecks in the NFL. Be that as it may, speed dating is the formula for college programs trying to regain past glory because look at what Rhule did at Baylor or Frost at UCF in a small period of time. Fans and ADs view those programs as dogshit, and logic says if you can win that quickly with the resources of Devry, you can do even better with more tools at your disposal.

That is until arriving on campus to find a roster full of players who are content losing games as long as they can still swing their dicks around Austin or Coral Gables. And even though there’s little reason for it, the preseason hype train gets momentum. Soon enough some dumbass convinces other dumbasses that a top 25 ranking is appropriate, and then that ranking only serves as more evidence that the coach was overrated or was never good in the first place. He gets fired, and the charade begins anew.

Not every new face is going to turn into Josh Heupel, and if you remember, the Tennessee coach wasn’t exactly the fanbase’s first choice.

To call it a vicious cycle would be an understatement. Michigan was damn near ready to run out Jim Harbaugh before his team finally started playing his brand of football. There are only so many coaches capable of putting together a perennial contender, and even then a lot of skippers in the top echelon haven’t planted their flags atop the game’s peak.

Lincoln Riley, Ryan Day, Brian Kelly, Chip Kelly, and Harbaugh are all title-less. Jimbo Fisher had a championship and is still about to get shown the door in College Station. Mario Cristobal is learning first-hand how far the Hurricanes are from getting their mojo back. Wisconsin decided this year that their recent run of success dictates Paul Chryst is a failure, and are looking at a buffet of mediocrity to replace him.

So, best of luck to Coach Rhule. Right now is likely as good as it’s going to get, because nothing other than a top 15 finish is going to satisfy the “best” fans in college football.

What psychopath called the long-awaited United States men’s national team’s Black Friday showdown against England a scoreless draw? I’ll have whatever you’re drinking. After gaining my bearings after that stiff cocktail, and realizing Matt Turner nor Jordan Pickford allowing a goal wasn’t just fallacy, it yielded a simple consequence for the American’s group-stage finale on Tuesday against Iran: win and the USMNT advances to the knockout stage. Lose? It’d be on the next flight out of Qatar. Tie? Who the fuck plays for a tie? It’ll come down to goal differential for you marks.

The American’s play in Qatar will draw plenty of comparisons to their efforts at the 2010 World Cup. Ties against England, yes that game with Robert Green’s all-time gaffe in net, and Slovenia to start group play. The exact same stakes were in the balance for the USMNT’s group finale against Algeria. A Landon Donovan extra-time goal was the difference as the USA went from eliminated to group winners with one kick of the ball. One goal against Iran could very well be the difference for the United States.

The goal for the USMNT coming into Friday’s game was proving it could hang with the Three Lions. In the four years Gregg Berhalter has led the Yanks, they’ve played an opponent of that quality exactly never. Zero minutes against a world-class team, especially in a competitive environment. The Americans not only hung with the country they gained their independence from, the USA would’ve won under Queensberry Rules. The first 20 minutes for the USMNT were tough, but it didn’t concede a goal. After that, the Stars and Stripes got the better of the Union Jack.

While the United Kingdom beats up on each other, all that stands between the knockout stage is Iran. What American fan wouldn’t have taken a victory over Iran to make the final 16 a week ago? You would’ve been crazy to want more. Iran hasn’t looked strong in either game so far in the tournament. The USA has had time in both games against the U.K. where it has looked organized and intimidating. It’s only yielded one goal.

Coming out of the game against Wales, the Americans felt lucky to get a point. After the draw against England, the Americans must feel like they can play with anyone. And their next game is against the team who gave up six goals to England. If the USA loses to Iran, Berhalter doesn’t come back stateside with a job. His overstated mindset of splitting the World Cup into two tournaments, the group stage and knockout stage, should be a great standard of how to evaluate the program going forward. Without seeing the USMNT in both of those phases, Berhalter shouldn’t be employed.

After two draws, Berhalter must make a few changes to his starting lineup. Do enough to not disrupt chemistry and facilitate the proper change to score more. Haji Wright didn’t get it done at striker and Josh Sargent at least looked comparable against Wales. We have yet to see Berhalter’s favorite coming into the tournament, Jesus Ferreira. I wouldn’t be shocked if he had a large shift against Iran. The USMNT has been looking for a consistent striker who can score in big games for about forever. It won’t be solved at this World Cup. Throw everything at the wall and see what sticks. Another change I’d make would be Tim Weah coming off the bench and starting Gio Reyna or Brenden Aaronson in his place. Even though Weah scored the USA’s only goal of the World Cup so far, he didn’t do much against England. The USMNT should give Iran a set of personnel it couldn’t have scouted together.

With that new-look USMNT, the must-win scenario looks much more attainable. Let’s not dismiss Iran completely here, it’s a solid soccer team. It did more than enough to make the World Cup. Let’s not also pretend like the Americans shouldn’t win this game with some ease at their best. We saw one of the best efforts from the USMNT in recent memory, albeit without a goal, against England. Now the Yanks must do it again with their World Cup lives at stake.

Warning: Spoilers ahead

After a reasonably middling Phase Four, the Marvel Cinematic Universe had lost some steam after exhausting itself over six films, nine TV series, and one Marvel Studios’ Special Presentation. Heading into this phase’s tenth and final film, Marvel needed a surefire win to boost a hopeful return to world domination. Director Ryan Coogler returned to Wakanda for Black Panther: Wakanda Forever and crafted one of the top five Marvel films ever.

Wakanda Forever picks up after the passing of T’Challa the Black Panther, which Marvel decided to implement after the untimely passing of actor Chadwick Boseman. This film focuses on the trauma left on Wakanda after T’Challa’s death, specifically his younger sister Shuri and his mother, Queen Ramonda. It also introduces a parallel hidden country, Talocan, ruled by Namor, played by Tenoch Huerta, which has also utilized Vibranium.

With the Black Panther’s throne left empty, Namor strikes Wakanda, sending the two countries on a collision course toward all-out war. The vacuum left by the Black Panther’s passing reflects the current parity of the NBA. With defending champion Golden State Warriors off to a slow start, the NBA is wide-open for a new champion. We’ve drawn parallels between the heroes and villains of Wakanda Forever with the current crop of NBA superstars to role-play which players most resemble the film’s dynamic cast of characters.