The organizer of a women’s basketball tournament so shoddy it drew comparisons to the Fyre Festival is a former Division I coach with a history of sexual abuse allegations, according to public records.

Bryce McKey’s organization, Destination Basketball, was responsible for the Las Vegas Invitational debacle this past weekend, which had major Division I women’s basketball programs playing in a ballroom with no stands, players having no towels available — they were asked to bring their own — and no EMT on site, which led to one game being delayed.

But before settling into his current job as an embarrassingly bad college basketball tournament organizer, McKey resigned from his coaching role at Maryland in 2015 after allegations of sexual misconduct emerged. The allegations were made by two women’s basketball players at Xavier, where McKey had previously been an assistant. He was accused of inviting the two to his suburban Cincinnati home at different times on the same day.

There he allegedly gave the pair alcohol — at least one of the women was under 21 years old at the time — and made sexual advances toward them, including several instances of alleged groping. McKey pled not guilty to the misdemeanor charge involving one of the women and was acquitted. No charges were filed regarding the second allegation.

In 2016, McKey was found not guilty of sexual abuse and unlawful transaction with a minor following a bench trial in Covington, Ky. The judge in the case, who decided McKey’s verdict, reportedly asked: “If she truly was uncomfortable about what was going on … why didn’t she leave?” The judge also reportedly believed the alleged victim had too many opportunities to object to what was happening but failed to do so, and suggested McKey had no way of knowing that one of his own players was under 21 years old.

In a separate complaint for which McKey was not charged, the former coach was alleged to have stuck his hand inside of a player’s pants during a goodbye hug — then, when she tried to leave, threw her onto a bed and climbed on top of her. When Xavier’s season began, the team’s head coach at the time, Brian Neal, had noticed strange behavior and called the alleged victim’s parents. The player’s father then relayed to Neal what his daughter told him about her encounter with McKey, which led to Neal helping her file a police report, according to a Cincinnati Enquirer open records request. No charges were filed from this incident, and McKey’s lawyer, Harry Hellings, has said it is “easy to fabricate claims” and that there were “two sides to these issues.”

Since the verdict, McKey has been an influential figure in Ohio girls high school basketball. McKey is currently an AAU coach for the Legends U program. His personal Twitter account has been set to private. Destination Basketball’s website is no longer online and its Twitter account has been deactivated since reports of the Las Vegas Invitational’s poor conditions went viral.

Deadspin attempted to reach McKey for comment via various email addresses and phone numbers but has not received a response.

According to public records, McKey is listed as the incorporator for Journey to the Tourney, Great Lakes Basketball Classic, West Palm Invitational, and Classic in the Country.

During an October appearance on WCPO’s High School Insider podcast, McKey was previewing the Ohio girls basketball season and also promoting the organization She Hoops Ohio. Its next event is Classic in the Country.

Former longtime NFL player? Check. Talking head on the Worldwide Leader? Check. High school football coach? Check.

Trent Dilfer is seemingly following in Jeff Saturday’s footsteps, albeit not at the highest level.

While the former Colts center recently became the interim head coach of his old franchise, Dilfer, the journeyman quarterback, and Super Bowl winner with the Baltimore Ravens — because of the defense — is set to be named the head football coach at UAB.

The Blazers currently sit fourth in Conference USA with a 6-6 record.

For the past four years, Dilfer has been the head coach at Lipscomb Academy (Nashville) — his lone coaching experience. He’s led the school to a 38-8 record, and was caught on video yelling and shoving a player.

He announced his departure a day before his team was set to play in a state championship game, according to Brad Schultz, the school’s director, who released a statement Wednesday:

“A few moments ago, Coach Trent Dilfer met with members of the high school football team to let them know that he is stepping down as head coach of the program,” director Brad Schultz wrote. “Later today, the University of Alabama-Birmingham is officially announcing the appointment of Coach Dilfer as the head coach of the UAB Blazers. The timing of this release is not ideal with the Div II-AA State Championship game tomorrow. But, because the information was leaked overnight and is being reported in national media, we needed to share this news with our community. We are coordinating with the UAB athletics department on the timing of the official public announcement, which will take place later today. We intend to keep the focus on our student-athletes and support them as they head to Chattanooga today in preparation for the championship game tomorrow.”

Dilfer was the No. 6 overall pick in the 1994 draft. During his 13-year career with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Ravens, Seattle Seahawks, Cleveland Browns, and San Francisco 49ers, he threw for 20,518 yards, 113 TDs, and 129 INTs.

I guess we’ll see how his style works at the collegiate level.

This week’s NFL slate is so loaded that it’ll be easy to overlook the biggest story of Week 13 if you try — and the Shield is definitely trying to talk about anything other than the return of Deshaun Watson. The most coverage Watson has received, outside of Cleveland, for coming back from a nearly two-year hiatus over a flood of sexual misconduct accusations is the news that some of the women from the 26 civil suits against the former Texans quarterback will be in a luxury box at the game in Houston on Sunday.

Most of the cases have been settled, and Watson denies any wrongdoing.

Safe to say, we won’t be getting any cutaway shots of Tony Buzbee’s suite as there are zero mentions of the end of that scumbag’s suspension on NFL.com. ESPN picked up the story about the accusers being in attendance at NRG Stadium, and it stayed on the ticker and NFL landing page for less than a 24-hour news cycle.

The only outlet that’s really covering this story is the Cleveland Plain Dealer, and they’re trying as hard as possible to make piece of shit Browns fans not feel like pieces of shit for embracing… a piece of shit.

The publication was able to get an “exclusive” interview with Watson’s private QB coach Quincy Avery, who gave a behind-the-scenes look at the quarterback’s 11-game suspension. When you can put a widely searched acronym on Pornhub in the headline of a story about a guy most readily associated with allegedly flailing his dick at massage therapists, you have to. Next up, Watson gives a POV look at his private workouts.

The subheads in the Cleveland.com story read like Watson was sat down for violating some frivolous rule and not (allegedly) dozens of women.

We’ve got “Avery knows Watson as well as anyone,” “Avery trains Watson in Cleveland during his suspension,” “The QBs stay connected,” “Stefanski’s scheme is ideal for Watson,” and “More ready than ever.”

If you’re wondering what misogynistic assclown wrote that, it was Mary Kay Cabot. Unfortunately, that’s how local sports media works. Who knows if Cabot is smiling through these puff pieces because she has to, but hopefully that is what’s going on. People have so many questions about Watson, and none of them revolve around how he fits into Kevin Stefanski’s offense.

Dismissed or not, a scandal involving a lawsuit featuring dozens of accusations of Watson preying on women would’ve cost any NFL player other than a franchise quarterback their career. Cabot could ask a teammate whether they’d receive not only a second chance but one of the biggest deals in the history of the league if it was them sliding in the DMs of 66 massage therapists.

Watson returning to the field in the city where most of these allegations surfaced is as tone-deaf as the NFL gets. If you thought the decision was some kind of shrewd business move to drum up headlines, you clearly haven’t been following Roger Goodell’s career. It’s another glaring oversight on a trash heap of them.

The league is desperately trying to avoid Watson’s return becoming a big story. Yet, they don’t have to. The machine takes care of that by itself. Titans-Eagles, Chiefs-Bengals, Dolphins-49ers, and a bunch of consequential division matchups will be more than enough to distract football fans away from the absolute mockery going on in Houston between Christmas commercials.

I just want to remind you that Watson would be in a different kind of orange uniform if he was some pervert off the street. He might be redeemable at some point in his life, but that’s a long way off and it certainly is not now.

Over the weekend, the Washington Commanders revealed a new “statue” memorializing Sean Taylor, a former safety who played for the organization from 2004-07, earning two Pro Bowl nods before his death at 24 years old. Taylor was a phenomenal young talent, family-oriented, and a hell of a workhorse on the field.

Prior to the “statue” unveiling, the Commanders had tried, in years past, to honor Taylor’s memory. In 2021, the Commanders retired his No. 21 jersey prior to a matchup with the Chiefs. Apart from the ceremony, Washington also printed a large “21″ on the side of the field, sectioned off by plastic white chains. The ceremony was overshadowed by controversy though when Chiefs’ quarterback Patrick Mahomes’ annoying brother, Jackson Mahomes, took a video of himself dancing atop the “21″ meant to honor Taylor’s legacy, and promptly posted said video to social media.

This controversy led several people within the Commanders’ front office to believe Taylor needed another, more proper memorialization, one that wasn’t burdened with unforeseen controversy. Enter the “statue.” I’ve been putting quotation marks around that word because the end result wasn’t as much a statue as it was a wiry mannequin with several aspects of Taylor’s person being supposedly misrepresented.

This was the general consensus, one of disgust, contempt, and flat-out disappointment. Amid all the poorly-handled controversies the Commanders had endured over the last three or so years — the cheerleader email scandal, team owner Dan Snyder threatening to release “dirt” on other NFL owners and commissioner Roger Goodell, former first-round selection Dwayne Haskins’ tragic death — the franchise was handed a public relations layup with Sean Taylor’s memorial. How hard could it be to mess up honoring a fallen teammate? Build a statue. Put it front and center within the team’s stadium or just outside it, and voila, the public would cheer endlessly. Well, apparently, it’s pretty easy.

Despite the public’s dissatisfaction with the Taylor statue, members of Taylor’s inner circle seemed more than pleased with this memorial. Taylor’s half-brother, Jamal Johnson, stated “It’s an honor, like I said, once again it’s an honor to get that kind of love and respect from an organization.” Taylor’s daughter, Jackie Taylor, expressed similar content, saying, “It was beautiful, honestly. They put everything that he wore — soccer cleats, little things that were special to him and that he did as a player. That was really special.”

An aspect of the statue that most of the public seemed to despise, Taylor’s family loved most of all. Even as I write this now, most casual fans who’ve seen the statue are upset about the soccer cleats. That is a failure on the end of the Washington Commanders. They failed to properly communicate to fans what they were doing with each part of the memorial. While the same defense can’t be made for the black gloves that can be made for the soccer cleats, I’d hesitate to assume that decision was made hastily and without thought, as many people assumed with the soccer cleats.

Still, many questions remain. The Commanders would’ve been praised if they’d just built a normal bronze or copper or stone statue, just as the Arizona Cardinals did for Pat Tillman when he was killed, or the Philadelphia Eagles did to commemorate the “Philly Special” play that helped them win their first Super Bowl, so why didn’t they do that? What steps could the Commanders have taken to limit backlash from the statue? Did the Commanders’ horrible public image play a role in the massive public backlash the organization received after unveiling the statue?

I spoke with Dustin York, associate professor of Communication at Maryville University, on the matter. York has an extensive history in public relations, having worked with notable brands such as Nike, PepsiCo., and Scottrade Financial Services, as well as former President Barack Obama’s 2008 political campaign. York’s initial reaction to the statue was the same as most of us — filled with disappointment. However, as more information regarding the memorial’s design choices came to light including his family’s reaction, York’s disappointment shifted from pinning the blame on the entire Commanders’ organization to pinning the blame on the organization’s PR team.

York expressed his discontent with the Commanders’ lack of transparency as well as internal communication before the statue’s unveiling. “Whether there’s hierarchy issues or strategy issues, the internal communication with this organization has not lived up to the benchmark other teams have set,” said York. “This event clearly lacked oversight. It probably didn’t even undergo red teaming.”

Red teaming is “the practice of rigorously challenging plans, policies, systems, and assumptions by adopting an adversarial approach.” Essentially, an idea is brought forth and a group of people will tear it apart limb from limb looking for any angle that the public could misconstrue as poor taste. This group should, in a perfect world, find any flaw or lack of transparency that would cause an outcry from fans for being insensitive, historically inaccurate, or otherwise distasteful. York has experience working in this aspect of PR, and was discouraged by the Commanders’ obvious oversteps regarding these basic marketing rules.

“I don’t know if they’re not paying for it, or if they’re paying for the wrong people,” cried York. “But these golden rules of laying out these plans and processes aren’t being followed.” York expressed even more dismay regarding the Commanders’ lack of transparency regarding the decision to put Taylor’s statue in soccer cleats. “Even [Taylor’s] daughter said that the soccer shoes represented his hobbies. That was the intention behind that decision. It was supposed to represent his hobbies. [The Commanders] didn’t even communicate that well. So now rumors are going around that they just messed up. ‘Why would you even pick soccer?’ So, even with the things they did ‘right’, the team isn’t communicating those decisions and then they are seen in a bad light.”

Obviously, rolling this mannequin out as a memorial was a risky decision, given the easy home run that a bronze or stone statue would’ve been. Why not give Taylor that send-off that fans would have considered worthy of Taylor’s legacy? “I don’t have that exact answer,” admitted York. “Timing is probably the most likely culprit. I mean, the Commanders have faced a lot of other crises recently, so perhaps this memorial was given the back-burner. I’m sure this was planned out a year ago, but because of other stories and issues surrounding the team, perhaps something like this that was supposed to be a fan relations softball, was put off to give resources and attention to other, more immediate, urgent matters.”

Dan Snyder and the Commanders’ poor public image probably also played a role in how poorly the Taylor mannequin was received. “It’s always easy to beat up on the troubled child. Anytime any organization has had a series of crises, any other small misstep is going to shine a huge spotlight on them.” York continued, “If this happened to the Dallas Cowboys, let’s say, would it have gotten as much bad press? I wouldn’t think so. Think of it like this. If there’s an NFL player that’s known for being dirty, do you think the refs would keep a closer eye on him, and call penalties on that player quicker? Absolutely, because there’s a history. The same basic concept is happening here.”

Despite York believing the Commanders’ Taylor memorial was better than most people will give it credit for, he doesn’t believe the team is done honoring No. 21. “What the Commanders are really searching for is a PR win, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s something else planned down the line, because this obviously was not a win.” If that is the case, hopefully, the Commanders will review their decisions a little more thoroughly before rolling them out.

I didn’t realize that Jeff Bagwell had become that guy at the end of the bar who tells you about the time he saw the original The Wall Tour every single time you enter the place. Not what I would have picked for him during his playing days, but here we are.

Anyway, Bagwell met with the press as he’s acting as the Astros GM right now after they forced out James Click by offering him such a sad contract after he was coming off a World Series win that he had no choice but to leave. Quite an organization and what a thank you, huh? And well, Bagwell had thoughts about how Click did the job the past three years…

It’s one thing that this has become such a tired debate, but before you even get to that…YOU WON THE WORLD SERIES, BITCH.

Whatever Click’s methods were, whatever the moves he didn’t make that Bagwell and Jim Crane’s cronies thought he should have done… it all worked out, didn’t it? Things went about as well as they could, wouldn’t you say? The Astros won 201 games over the past two seasons and both World Series have included them, winning the latest one. What more is there? What does Bagwell and Crane think is missing, exactly?

It wouldn’t be all that hard to argue that all the players who made up the roster of these two Astros teams were acquired or drafted before Click was in the GM chair. It’s true. But staying out of the way enough to let a World Series-worthy team win is not nothing either. Most GMs wouldn’t be able to help themselves.

Perhaps this goes back to Click’s desire to trade for Willson Contreras, which was nixed by Crane at the last minute. There was a worry that Contreras wouldn’t take to not catching every day, as well as the loss of Jose Urquidy, who was rumored to be headed to Chicago in the deal. Except Contreras could have easily slid into the DH spot, a slot the Astros got basically nothing from in the postseason. Or he could have replaced Yuli Gurriel at first, too. Were these the “numbers” that offended Bagwell so?

Or was it Trey Mancini? Who could see his bat turning into fettucini after that deal? Is Jose Abreu not a numbers signing? His power went away last year, while he cut his strikeouts. Are there intangibles to Abreu? Because the White Sox spent five months playing the game like kindergarteners on recess for five months, and he was supposedly the clubhouse leader. He doesn’t have to do that in Houston, obviously.

Overall, it’s such a tired debate. And it’s been over for years. GMs and front offices use a variety of factors to make their decisions, including the wealth of information that comes on paper. It would be negligent to not use anything that can help. It’s been this way for 20 years now. This war was lost by the kind of thinking Bagwell was espousing.

What was Bagwell saying when the previous GM traded for Roberto Osuna? Can’t seem to find anything. Is that part of the “played by humans?” Somehow doubt it.

The Astros are so well built that it feels like any Malorkus can run them to a 100-win season. Apparently, Crane and Bagwell are intent on proving that.

Jerry louse

Staying on the MLB Free Agency tip, no one is ever more prepared to comment on a free agent that just left one of his teams than Jerry Reinsdorf. He’s always there to tell you that he wanted to keep Player A, and he’s just so sorry that it couldn’t be. What this really means is that he is always only willing to go so high on salary for anyone, and if a player can get more than that, they can fuck right off. This goes all the way back to when Horace Grant left the Bulls for Orlando, and Reinsdorf called one of the strangest press conferences in history to burn every bridge left behind. It’s now a hot stove tradition, when a White Sox player leaves, here comes ol’ Jerry to thank them for their service, and gosh darn it, it just wasn’t in the stars to keep them around.

You could have just cut a check, Jerry. 

This should be easy, with the second word of this story being the most important: SHOULD. Even with the politics and affinity for the Southeastern Conference and other big-name schools, the College Football Playoff committee can’t mess this one up, right? There are only two scenarios that can unfold this week. All four teams that should be in CFP qualifying spots come Tuesday night — Georgia (12-0), Michigan (12-0), TCU (12-0), and USC (11-1)— all play in conference championship games this weekend. It’s the most simple idea to state if they win, they’re in. Because it’s true.

In reality, three of those four teams are in the CFP win or lose this weekend. If Georgia loses to LSU, the Bulldogs’ effort to repeat as national champions is still on. Michigan can’t possibly lose in the Big Ten title game to Purdue, could it? Even if the Boilermakers somehow take the trophy, it’s the New Year’s Six that gets thrown into chaos, not the four-team race for a national champion. Even though TCU won five one-score games this season, even a loss to a strong Kansas State team doesn’t deny the Horned Frogs their first trip to the playoff, negating some of the bad juju from 2010 and 2014.

The three FBS teams to end the regular season undefeated need to be rewarded. Power Five champion or not, and I wouldn’t bet against any of them to get win No. 13 this weekend, all should already have a 100 percent chance of making the four-team field. Then there’s USC. A 1-point loss to fellow Pac-12 Championship competitor Utah is the Trojans’ only blemish. A late Utes’ score downed them on Oct. 15. If USC wins the rematch, it’s in the playoff. No doubt about it. It’s only a matter of the order of the top four. If USC loses the rematch to Utah, the Pac-12 will be shut out of the CFP for the sixth straight season. And there’s only one suitable team to replace the Trojans — Ohio State.

Did the Buckeyes look like a top-four team in the country on Saturday? Nope, and where they would fall from that one performance isn’t particularly close. However, Ohio State would be the only one-loss team left to pick from. The list of teams to not be in a conference championship game with one or zero losses: Ohio State. That’s it. By USC losing a second time, it’d be disqualified. No team has ever made the CFP with two losses. The committee would have nowhere else to turn. The Buckeyes would make it in at No. 4. There’s no other way, meaning the main slate of conference championship games on Saturday would be to jostle for position in the CFP, not acceptance or denial. USC’s bout with Utah is Friday night.

Washington getting smacked by Alabama in the 2016 semifinals was the last time the Pac-12 got an invite to the exclusive four-way dance, by far the longest streak in the short history of the College Football Playoff. The Big 12’s two-year hiatus will end this season, and another team besides Oklahoma will represent the conference in the two-game chase for a title. The Big Ten was shut out in 2017 and 2018. The ACC’s streak, largely held up by Clemson, will extend to a second season after Sunday’s straightforward selection ceremony. The SEC is the only conference to have a representative in every playoff. That’s what hangs in the balance for the Big Ten-bound Trojans.

Any deviation from the scenario above would be asinine from the CFP committee. If TCU gets blown out by Kansas State, it’s prone to drop to No. 4, but that’s it. Georgia and Michigan should be the top two unless they lose, even with a TCU blowout win because of how dominant they’ve looked for long stretches of the season. Should USC lose, it would be interesting to see if the committee avoids giving Michigan the No. 1 spot no matter what, which would also delay a possible rematch between Big Ten rivals. Several months after a Final Four matchup of Duke-North Carolina, getting a huge rivalry game in the postseason must also be whetting the appetites of college football’s most powerful. We’ve narrowed the possible-national-champions list to five. Getting the list to four should be academic. Any alternate timeline would be unwelcome chaos. 

Take a look at the current NFL standings, would you? How many teams are above .500 with less-than-optimal situations under center? The New York Jets, New England Patriots, and Tennessee Titans are all on the playoff bubble and have all either endured mediocre-to-poor quarterback play, and the Titans even have an out in Ryan Tannehill’s contract ahead of the 2023 season. In the NFC, the New York Giants, Washington Commanders, and San Francisco 49ers have all experienced massive success without a great option under center. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers could be without Tom Brady next year. The Atlanta Falcons have remained in playoff contention despite Marcus Mariota being their signal-caller. You get the point. There are a lot of teams who seem to be a quarterback away from being an elite franchise.

We’ve just passed the two-thirds point of the 2022 season. Rumors have already begun circling social media concerning the likes of Daniel Jones, Zach Wilson, and Derek Carr. Carr is undoubtedly the best of the bunch, and with the Las Vegas Raiders performing below their expectations this year, it seems Carr could be on the move ahead of 2023. (He has, however, said he wants to remain a Raider). So, which teams are the most enticing for these quarterbacks who could be in potentially new places, and which teams are most inclined to trade up for one of the young stars in the draft? That’s what we’re aiming for here.

The Giants and Jets are the most likely teams to trade up in the draft for a new quarterback. Sure, they are both playing well this year, but neither team is in a position to compete for a Super Bowl with an above-average signal-caller in Carr or Jimmy Garoppolo — although I don’t think he’ll be going anywhere given Lance’s fragility and the success the Niners have seen thus far. The Giants currently have an extra third-round pick due to the Kadarius Toney trade and would likely offer a few firsts and that extra third in exchange for a top-three pick. Given that there are only three quarterbacks widely regarded as game-changers in the upcoming draft — Ohio State’s CJ Stroud, Alabama’s Bryce Young, and Kentucky’s Will Levis — the Seattle Seahawks, who currently hold the No. 3 pick, and the Chicago Bears, who currently hold the No. 2 pick, would be the most sensible trade partners since both teams already have their quarterbacks of the future. Sure, there is still a chance that the Seahawks could move on from Geno Smith, but the team has so many holes that need to be filled at other positions, that even with their abundance of draft picks in 2023 and beyond, accruing even more isn’t a bad option, and if the right offer came along, I’m sure they’d be willing to let Smith start for at least one more season.

With both the AFC and NFC East looking like the toughest divisions in football, I would expect the Giants and Jets to make hard pushes for top-3 picks. Where does that leave Derek Carr though? Well, unless the Raiders have a clear plan of attack to replace Carr, the price for the former Pro Bowler could be too high for any team looking to upgrade at QB. Should Tom Brady choose to hang up his cleats after this season, the Bucs seem like a team that would be interested in maintaining solid-level quarterback play as even without Brady, they’d still likely compete for an NFC South title. The New Orleans Saints are in a similar boat. Despite rather underwhelming play from Andy Dalton — contrary to what PFF might tell you — they’ve managed to look capable at times and with a more dynamic passer, they could compete for an NFC South title, especially if Brady retires after this season.

The Saints are already in trouble via the draft after trading up for Chris Olave last year, so why not use this year’s draft as a wash to trade for a considerable upgrade at quarterback? I mean, they could take a shot on projected second-round picks like University of Tennessee’s Hendon Hooker, Stanford’s Tanner McKee, Florida’s Anthony Richardson, or University of Miami’s Tyler van Dyke, but Carr would come with the fewest question marks, and if the Saints want to win right now, Carr might be their best option. That said, New Orleans is also in cap hell. As of right now, they will be nearly $63.5 million in the red for 2023. Carr’s cap hit in 2023 will be $34,875,000. That isn’t exactly an ideal situation, and if the Saints can’t pull the same magic they did a few years ago when they cleared $111 million in cap space seemingly overnight, then the money could push New Orleans away from Carr.

Other teams that could be interested in Carr include the Titans (barring any major decision on Tannehill), the Detroit Lions, the New England Patriots (although I’d never expect Belichick to make a move like this), and of course, the Raiders. Frankly, I don’t think Carr has played that horrendously this year. I believe much of the Raiders’ offensive woes fall on head coach Josh McDaniels’ shoulders coupled with injuries to both Darren Waller and Hunter Renfrow. The Raiders were supposed to have one of the most intimidating passing attacks in the NFL this year. Their second-leading receiver is Mack Hollins, who’d started only eight games in his career prior to 2022.

Las Vegas doesn’t have the money to fire Josh McDaniels, and thus, it’s easy to assume Carr’s struggles would continue into 2023 if he remains with the team. That’s all the more incentive to trade him away.

Most reports assume that Carr would draw a second-round pick and some if traded away. The Raiders are a cash-poor team and in need of some changes on offense. With the myriad of talented QBs projected to go in the second round in the upcoming draft, having multiple picks in that round could solve the Raiders’ issues. Therefore, I find it more likely that Carr is traded than not. Although it’s very difficult to guess which team would take a shot on Carr at the moment, the Raiders should make every effort to move on from him.

And this is where the plot thickens. For the next four days, teams will move on, teams will meet the sword, and the drama ramps up to 11. I’m here to be your space coyote for it!

Game of the day

Ecuador 1 – 2 Senegal

As U.S. fans learned the hardest way, when you have a game where one team only needs a draw and the other needs a win, it’s better for storytelling purposes if the team that needs to win scores first. Because then just a single goal can swing emotions completely the other way and back again, and the team in the lead now has to balance defending with looking for a second to clinch it.

Senegal got the first goal, and deservedly so when Ismaila Sarr was fouled and then proceeded to bury the penalty. Senegal had Ecuador under their thumb for the whole half, as the latter struggled to figure out how to play for a tie without PLAYING FOR A TIE. They only managed two blocked Enner Valencia shots in the first half.

But then Ecuador made two subs at half, got on the front foot way more, Moises Caicedo equalized off a corner, taking advantage of Senegal having a man on the line to just loiter behind the pack going for the initial header off a corner to bury the second ball.

And this is where that balance, that heart-down-to-your-ankles feeling kicks in. Because in the midst of trying to figure out how to play the rest of the match, Kalidou Koulibaly scored off another second ball off a corner, a true captain’s goal that he lashed into the net.

And this is where the World Cup is special, as it’s the only tournament that can swing you from ecstasy to despair or in the other direction in an instant like this. Ecuador were clearly shellshocked and never really had it. In some ways it’s worse than holding on and giving it up in the last minute. By only getting a glimpse of going through for just two minutes, having it snatched away before they could even see the whole shape of it left them in a stupor. They only had three shots after going behind, and never looked like they would tie it up. Having two enormous events that spring up the opposite emotions happen so quickly together paralyzed them, as it would to anyone. How do you come to terms with going behind again when you haven’t even had time to come to terms with the new state of the match after you’ve tied it?

Senegal are full value for advancing, having pretty much pinned the Dutch to nothing for most of that match and completely nullifying Ecuador for the most part. They will be a challenge for England.

Other results

Holland 2 – 0 Qatar

This was a match that happened. The Dutch haven’t been impressive in any of their matches, but didn’t have to be to finally put the complete waste-of-time hosts out of their and our misery. The second gear the Oranje have been stuck in was more than enough for this one.

USA 1 – 0 Iran

We obviously have a ton on this one already.

England 3 – 0 Wales

This one wasn’t much more of an event than the Holland-Qatar staff meeting, and Wales weren’t really any more impressive than Qatar for the tournament. England were able to rotate their lineup to start a little, and then a lot throughout the match. The first half was basically a funeral dirge, until England got bored in the second half and decided to have Marcus Rashford scorch the Welsh defense with his speed.

Goal of the day

Come on…

Let’s eulogize the departed

Wales and Qatar – Oh they got it! Wales and Qatar! They ate it! Way way too bad! They got it! Wales and Qatar! (that’s a little Sleater-Kinney joke for all you lovely people).

Ecuador – They should have beaten The Dutch but couldn’t find a winner and got their chins above the bar for just an instant before crashing to Earth. They will likely be back, as a majority of the squad was under 25 and Ecuador has been one of the hotbeds of development lately. But it’s a lesson in that in a short tournament, you better win the games you dominate, as they did against the Netherlands. With Qatar being so terrible, everyone got a free spot on the bingo card and the sample for everyone was down to just two games. Ecuador, quite simply, didn’t score enough while doing most everything else right.

Iran – I would love to touchdown dance on Carlos Quieroz ending up on his ass again, just as he did in the AFCON, just as he did in African qualifying, because he’s one of the last true authors of sufferball that is such a chore to watch. Hopefully more nations will move on from the Quieroz type and attempt to play their way out of the group stage instead of just trying to repel, repel, repel. But limited teams will always think this is their surest way to gaining points in a group stage, and because of that managers like Quieroz will still have jobs.

But the Iranian players will be missed, who risked so much in this tournament. Their no-selling their own anthem in the first game reportedly got their families back home threatened. They showed everyone what place sports can hold in a society, and gave more oxygen to the protests and movements back home that will hopefully author significant change there. They took on far more than just trying to get Iran to the Round of 16 for the first time, which is more than enough pressure for any player. Applause to them.

Did Alexi Lalas say anything stupid?

He was definitely feeling his oats at halftime, claiming Iran “wanted no part of this game,” given the way they had sat back and tried to defend and created nothing. Which makes one wonder if Lalas had watched Iran or a Quieroz-led team play before. But would it make any difference if Lalas actually watched any other games?

Also his power rankings bit every day is a Geneva Convention violation.

Did VAR fuck anything up?

Boy we sure thought it was going to with the handball on Shaq Moore or the late penalty shout on Carter-Vickers, didn’t we? But neither were anywhere close to being worth a look, and thankfully we didn’t get the one ref in the booth having a bad day who just wanted to fuck shit up. Phew.

Did Qatar fuck anything up?

More stories of fans with rainbow attire being detained before ultimately being let go, which just smacks of doing it to do it because all the security must know how this ends by now. They just want to harass fans now.

Anything else?

THE FUCKIN’ YANKS ARE MOVIN’ ON!!!!!!